It was hard for her to say no to any of them. What if she passed over someone good?
You’re single and you’ve been looking to attract your true love for a long time now. Recently, you’ve gone on a few dates, even been in a relationship or two, but nothing has worked. All of your family and your friends are giving you more dating and relationship advice than you’re even asking for.
Today is a day of blessings and thankfulness. I get to spend Mother's Day with my very own mother and my fabulous kids, as well as my hubby. As I observe my little family and notice all that I am thankful for, I can't help but think about the many people who walk into my office and lack their own mother to celebrate with.
I have the wonderful opportunity of having many educators in my life. Several of my dearest friends are educators. Many of my colleagues work in the school setting. I knew at an early age that education would be important in my own life and pursued an education undergraduate degree. Although, I have never been a “teacher” in a classroom filled with kids, I have been an educator to many through the trainings that I do. My favorite topic to train educators on is “Strategies for Educating Traumatized Children.”
Today was a bit of a tough day at work. I sat with a family who has weathered one of the worst storms that a person could ever imagine…childhood sexual abuse. Children, under the age of 5, traded for sex and video taped for porn. Now, a decade later, these children have to deal with their inner demons. No, they are no longer living with the people who did this to them. No, they have no contact at all with anyone from that part of their life. Yes, they are physically safe. Yes, their heart and their minds are changed forever.
You know, women complain constantly: “I just can’t seem to meet any men.” “Ooh, I just can’t meet any men.” But yet when a man approaches, they run away as quickly as possible. “Oh my God, he’s talking to me! I need to run and run and run and run…”
WARNING: I will be ranting today! I have some major energy in the above topic. So, if you are easily offended or sensitive, please stop reading now and return for a later blog! That said, let’s chat about tolerance versus acceptance. I see the word “tolerance” everywhere…teach kids tolerance, we need to tolerate others, human resources departments that have tolerance policies…ugh! This drives me crazy. The reality is that tolerance is much different and less positive than acceptance!
Anger is a powerful, strong emotion, so we need powerful, strong strategies to help release that anger. As adults, we need to have our anger strategies figured out before we attempt to figure that out with our own children. Then, we must remember that our children's emotions are their emotions, not ours.
As a therapist who sees teenagers, I get this questioned posed to me often…Stacy, I don’t want my child to drop out of school, but they refuse to go and I don’t know what to do. What should I do? I often approach this topic from “what is your child communicating to the rest of us that we aren’t hearing?”