Articles by our experts in love, dating, sex and marriage
6 Fears that Prevent Us from Speaking Up

6 Fears that Prevent Us from Speaking Up

How much do you value being seen and heard? Do you really want a truly successful relationship? How important is it to have impact on others? Then speak up! Of course, for some people, that’s easier said than done. You might prefer to sky dive without a parachute than tell another person what’s really on your mind. But it is possible to develop an assertiveness connected to head and heart that clears the way for honest, empowered living-without being rude to others.

Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

A marriage is the most rewarding – and the most challenging – relationship of your life. Don’t let this alarm you, but no matter how old you are, how smart you are, or how hip you are, your relationship to your spouse will parallel your relationship to your parents during your childhood. Your marriage will mirror many of the stages you went through beginning with infancy, when you believed that you and your mom were in fact the same person; to the tantrums, withdrawal and defiance you used as a toddler to separate yourself from her.

Leadership and Marriage

Leadership and Marriage

Effective leaders and effective marriages have three things in common: 1. Leaders and partners learn from their experiences. 2. They learn how to adapt to changing conditions. 3. They pay attention and anticipate probable future problems. During the winter of 1911, Robert Scott was racing to be the first man to get to the South Pole. He set off on a journey of adventure with the potential for enormous satisfaction but also filled with hardships and difficulties–just like the adventure of marriage.

6 Steps to Telling the Truth

6 Steps to Telling the Truth

It’s understandable that couples are wary about bringing up sensitive topics. The avoidance of pain and distress are major motivators to go into hiding. But too much avoidance can lead to marital corrosion. So how can this difficult problem be managed? Because of the extra length, this month’s column is divided into two parts with the second part finishing next month.

Does Summer Vacation Planning Raise Problems For You?

Does Summer Vacation Planning Raise Problems For You?

Summer vacations can involve family visits, which often present a challenge for many couples. I thought it might be timely to share with you a column I wrote for the “San Jose Mercury News.” Q: My husband and I are at odds over visiting his family in Florida. His mother has remarried (his father died years ago) and her husband is impossible to be around. He is constantly criticizing me and the kids, and when we visit I have a terrible time. My husband says I am overly sensitive and should just “let it go,” which is how he handles his family.

First Dates and First Interactions

First Dates and First Interactions

I figured today was a good day to talk about first dates and the lovely awkwardness of them. I recently hung out with a guy that I had been texting and Facebook chatting for a while and when we finally met in person, can we say, AWKWARD??? In my experience most people are great when they are behind an electronic device, but once that device is taken away, oh man! Someone needs to help that person with how to break the ice. When most men talk to you with these social networks or cell phones, the first thing you are talking about is sex.

A Man I'd Like to Love

A Man I'd Like to Love

Friendship with a Man How do I want it? Let me share the ways. I want the comfort I'd have with a loving mother, The aliveness I feel with a you-can-say-it-all friend, The stimulation of a trip with a fellow adventurer, The quietude of a peaceful walk in the forest, The openness of a scientist with her experiment, The compassion of a nurse with a patient in pain, The easy reassurance of a coach to a boy who missed a ball, The physical closeness of a baby at the breast,

4 Deal-Breaker Mistakes You Don't Know You're Making

4 Deal-Breaker Mistakes You Don't Know You're Making

There are 4 Types of people in this world. And they all have unique motivations and priorities in relationships. If you and your partner are different Types, you might be stepping all over each other's emotional toes without even knowing it!  Time to figure out what's going on so you don't make a deal-breaking mistake... The mistake you make with Type 1's: 

Can 'Swinging' Save Your Marriage? [EXPERT]
Who will you play footsie with tonight?

Can 'Swinging' Save Your Marriage?

Times are tight; the economy has placed tremendous amounts of pressure on families. It seems like the "I Love Lucy" days where the wife stayed home and was able to rear her children are over. What happens when a couple has had enough of the immediate refuge and is tired of talking about their issues over and over to a licensed therapist? The couple who is not ready for the financial burden of a divorce may turn to swinging.

Planning Your Wedding? 3 Reasons To Keep It Under Wraps [EXPERT]
Are you planning a wedding? Why not keep it a secret?

Planning Your Wedding? 3 Reasons To Keep It Under Wraps

Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied are officially husband and wife, and their wedding day was a secret to just about everyone — something the couple wouldn't have any other way. Of course, most of us are not celebrities and do not have to deal with papparrazi stalking our every move or sharing our private wedding photos with the masses. But, in a time where we document everything from sharing photos of our every meal, outfit and tweeting our every thought, there is something to be said for keeping the biggest day of your life under wraps. Here are three reasons why you should have a secret wedding.