How many women over the age of thirty-five “cringe” when they hear the word Cougar? For some reason women have acquired this title over the last 15 years without the male population receiving a similar trademark appellation. Why is that? Men who have “serial sex partners” have always been viewed as studs or held in high esteem by their male peers. Women call them players. (Doesn’t that sound all warm & fuzzy?) What has transpired that women now have their own “handle” and is it actually a good thing?
Are you a risk-taker? Have you leaped from an airplane? Scaled treacherous mountainsides? Braved shark-infested waters? There are many ways to take risks. Some of them are more obvious-- such as those above-- and others are a little less so. There are risky behaviors you might take in your relationship too.
If you don't like doing it, it leaves you in the position of finding the 2% of men who do not care anything about it. This is not a favorable position to be in. The odds are exceedingly against you. But keep in mind that it's always better to know what to do and not need it, than need it and not know what to do. Who knows? One day it may grow on you. (Pun intended.) Now, if you're ready to get your hands dirty, continue to read on.
When you are stuck in a relationship where your partner is constantly putting you down, criticizing, controlling and insensitive, you very well may have "connected" with an emotional manipulator. Usually these relationships start out fast and hot. They are emotionally charged and EXACTLY what you've been looking for your whole life. The person...the manipulator...seems to be the most perfect human being on the planet. They meet all your needs before you even ask. The connection is immediate and the relationship moves very fast.
Swinging (or, "The Lifestyle") is a topic of conversation that comes up with my clients from time to time, but only after a strong relationship of trust is established with me, since most people consider the topic to be "taboo". Since it's rarely discussed, I decided it was time.
The Holiday Season is upon us, and it really makes us start to think seriously about the state of our new relationship. There's never one good answer to the quandry about including your new boyfriend in family and holiday festivities, because we live in a time that is filled with alternative situations. Hopefully, I can cover a few of them here, and help you make a reasonable decision about whether or not you should include a new boyfriend in family Thanksgiving traditions.
It is amazing how many of my clients limit themselves in their dreams because they do not have any idea of HOW they will achieve them. The reality is: When you gain clarity on WHAT you want, the HOW will show up. What do you want? Write out one specific goal you would like to achieve Outline: What will MY goal look like when I accomplish it Imagine you were to take a picture of your life when you have accomplished this goal, what will be happening, who will be there?
Do you have a tremendous amount of mind chatter that goes on beneath the surface? Many people have self talk conversations that are negative abusive statements such as “you should”, “why did you do that” and “what is wrong with you?” These can lead to feelings of stress and overwhelm as we try and quiet the mind. Wouldn’t it be nice to speak with gentleness and kindness to yourself? To be loving and respectful of all you say and do.
Several years ago a woman called me to get some help on her marriage. After a couple of sessions her husband agreed to come for couples coaching. On the calls it seemed like neither partner practiced listening to the other one effectively. Because of this, neither one felt understood, so conflict seemed to be the way they showed each other that their needs were going unmet.
When you get down to what separates great, long-lasting partnerships from ones that start with the best intentions but fizzle out over time, there are a few very basic rules and behaviors that while seem to be common sense, most people don't have a clue how to go about.