You don’t know your partner as well as you think. And if you do, you shouldn’t. Introducing one partner to another, even if they have been together exclusively for years, is one of the best parts of being a seasoned couples therapist. People are always changing. If you believe you know who your partner was yesterday, maybe you are missing out on who is in front of you today — and today’s version is likely to be a lot more interesting than the version you think you know.
I had somewhat of an epiphany on the subject of love in my thirties, understood more of what a relationship meant and found that I very much wanted to settle down at last and give a proper, grown up relationship a go. I took a step back, looked at all my male friends and reconsidered them as more than friends. I dated, I even tried a Lonely Hearts scheme in the local newspapers and if you’ve read my SW Interview, then you know how badly that panned out.
In my medical practice, I often work with couples who are having trouble conceiving. Some are seeking assistance for the first time, while others have already been down the road of conventional fertility treatments. Naturopathic medicine has much to offer these couples, and they are often pleased to find that they have much more control over their health than they thought.
If your relationship is in a rut and you need to reignite the spark of romance, then a romantic getaway is just what the doctor ordered — the love doctor, that is. Few things can give your marriage a shot of adrenaline better than a romantic vacation. Here are five reasons why a romantic getaway would be beneficial to your relationship.
A study published in the July issue of the journal Pediatrics discovered a link between adult-onset mental health disorders — including substance abuse and anxiety — and childhood physical punishment — including spanking — thereby begging the question: How should parents discipline their kids?
Peggy had been married to James for 14 years when she first consulted with me for help with her relationship and her anxiety. "I can't stand being in this marriage anymore. We have two wonderful children and I don't want to break up this family, but I'm miserable and anxious much of the time. I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells and I can't be myself."
When you have become emotionally close to another person, you have become more vulnerable. This vulnerability opens the doors for that person to do things that really hurt, which often comes out when conflicts arise. At the same time, you can develop higher expectations about what the other person does and how they should act towards you. This also can lead to unfulfilled expectations which could result in resentment or even anger, even without the other person knowing that they have done something to hurt you.
When I was single, the reason I couldn’t find a good man was my habit of “wishful hoping.” I am long past that now, but as a coach I find “wishful hoping” is probably one of the key factors that make finding your true love take so long. “Wishful hoping” is very similar to being in a state of longing. You may understand it better if I share with you this definition of longing by Gay Hendricks:
Each of us has a picture of our ideal mate. I bet he is handsome, witty, a good listener, has a good sense of humor and is successful in his career! What if the last part of the “successful in his career” was missing? Would you be interested in this guy? What if he was successful until recently and now he is out of work? Would you give this guy the time of day?
Each person allows for the individuality of each person within the relationship. Experience both oneness & separateness from their partner. Bringing out the best qualities in each other. Inviting growth in their partner. Experiencing openness to change & exploration in both partners & in the relationship. Experiencing true intimacy in the relationship - physically, emotionally, intellectually, & spiritually. The freedom to ask honestly for what they want.