It’s difficult for me to remember the early days of my relationship with Mr. Strong and Silent. After all, I’ve known him for 12 years. More important, the vast majority of my memories were wiped out during the two sleepless years after our daughter was born. Still, I believe in those early days I incessantly asked him two questions that he was never able to answer: Question #1: “What are you thinking?” Question #2: “How do you feel?” His answer to the first was always either, “Nothing” or “I don’t know.” The second? Exactly the same as the first, assuming he didn’t walk away or change the topic. He didn’t like to talk about his past, his emotions, or his day at work. He didn’t like to talk about anything other than something he’d read in the newspaper, that night’s television, where and how long he’d ridden his bike, and, perhaps, what he wanted to do that weekend. STRONG AND SILENT VS. STRONG AND SECRETIVE
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My husband and I used to get into a daily fight over the bathroom counter. He wanted it completely free of clutter. More specifically, he only wanted three things on the counter—his hand soap, his toothbrush, and his razor. He wanted everything else in a drawer, cabinet, or closet. Now, I’m not his opposite, mind you. I’m the person who usually keeps our house straight and orderly. I’m the one who compulsively picks up toys and puts them away. I’m the one who can’t stand dishes piled up in the sink. I’m the one who occasionally makes our bed. It’s not as if I wanted stuff all over the bathroom counter either. I don’t even have a lot of bathroom objects to begin with. I wear makeup rarely. I don’t use a hair dryer. I’m not into perfume, scented creams, or candles. I only wanted two objects on the counter: my toothbrush and my facial cleanser. THE BATHROOM COUNTER WAR
This morning, I found myself yearning for love. I just wanted to be in the arms of someone who would tell me that everything would be okay. For various reasons, the past week has been a rough one for me. Truth be told, I’ve been mired in what I call The Dark Place, which is exactly what it sounds like. In The Dark Place, there is no light, warmth, or hope. It’s not a rational or fun place to find myself, but I was there nonetheless. I knew my husband was the person I needed to lean on. Yet, from my vantage point in The Dark Place, my husband was part of the problem. He seemed distant. I felt as if we spoke two different languages. I also felt some sort of odd tension between us. But one thing I know about The Dark Place is this: human interaction and touch is one of the fastest ways to get out of it. A HUG A DAY KEEPS THE DARKNESS AWAY
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