I watched as my children left in their dad’s car this past time, my daughter not wanting to go, tears running down her face as her father told her to get in. The police were standing there because I had called them just after a CPS report was filed on how their father was being abusive towards them. My soon to be ex-husband pulled the court order papers out of his pocket and handed it over to the police officer after he had just spoken to my 9 year old little daughter and my 11 year old son. They both told the office that they did not want to be at their father’s house.
I’ve often found the title “co-parenting” somewhat of a humorous irony, a conundrum. Think about it. Here you have two people that just went through an emotionally hurtful process of divorce and in many instances despise each other. Then it is suggesting that they be calm enough to have a mature conversation about parenting. It’s like the democrats and republicans suddenly compromising to prevent the fiscal cliff after four years of resentment.
Our nation as a whole tends to stigmatize and minimize the reality and the extent of the impact of mental health issues on our country. Mental health is always on the top of the list when budgets are slashed on local, state, and national levels. Insurance companies are making excessive profits at the expense of families ability to afford services. The latest trend with insurance companies is to increase deductibles and co-pays and charge exorbitant premiums making mental health services inaccessible to many.
The aftermath of a national tragic event like the devastation at Sandy Hook Elementary brings to life a world of painful wounds. Based on previous experiences and knowledge people react in three ways. They either get pissed enough to take action toward change using the event to move them toward more life and love, avoid pain becoming indifferent and apathetic, or stay stuck in pain and frustration captive in their own thoughts and behaviors.
One of the most common ways that we give up our power and contribute to the escalation of conflict in our relationships is when we blame. Anytime we remain focused on our partner’s behavior, we abandon our possibility for control and change since we are the only one we are capable of changing. If you are tired of feeling powerless in your relationship and are ready to take accountability for real change, here are five tips for staying empowered during conflict.
Those of us not directly impacted by the tragic events of this past Friday in Connecticut [although as a human race we are all touched by this loss] cannot begin to know or understand the pain and suffering these devastated people are experiencing. Please do not let this stop you from reaching out as a compassionate, caring and loving friend. Even if you are in doubt then follow Midge’s lead from a wonderfully, comforting book ‘Tear Soup’…"Midge wouldn’t try to talk anyone out of anything anyone was feeling...I don’t know what to say,
Gratitude is the single most important tradition of our lives. It welcomes a kind of peace and joy in our hearts that only grace knows. Contrary to popular belief, gratitude isn’t just a feeling – it is an experience that we cultivate through intentional daily practice. Choosing to mindfully engage in a gratitude ritual prepares and trains us to be able to access love and light even in the darkest of times.
Stop searching the stores for a perfect gift. Save your shopping time and money by giving people you care about the one thing they really want this holiday season at no charge. How can a priceless gift be free? It’s the gift of appreciation. It’s an essential nutrient that grows happy, successful relationships. Why?
The New Year is approaching and there are so many new chances to connect with the man you love and have the relationship you deserve. It’s time to put all the relationship mistakes you made in 2012 behind you and step into a new 365 days as a modern goddess who knows how to unleash the power of her heart over her man.
I am a firm believer that divorce can be a really wonderful thing for children as they no longer have to put up with a relationship that is going sour day in, day out. There is however, a false assumption that children need to be with both parents, and I actually don’t think this is true either. Who is to say that staying in an unhappy marriage is less harmful as taking action to end it?