"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." —unknown Some people see connections everywhere. They perceive feelings and relatively insignificant interactions and events in the world to be signs of significant meaning—signs that something is “meant to be.” In some cases, this kind of thinking can translate into a delusional love.
I received the following email on this topic, asking for my help: "Hi, my name is Adam (not his real name). I am living with my parents and I'm thinking of moving out with my girlfriend Patty. But there are some things that make me feel upset, and I don't really know what to do. I love her but she doesn't seem to be the person she was. At times she feels bad and upset. These periods last for about 4 - 5 days.
To many people, the idea of a love addiction seems far-fetched or made up to explain irrational behaviors. However, love addiction is not a new concept, nor is it fabricated. Early literature and history are full of references to people — often very powerful and famous people — who allowed their dependence on others to destroy them.
Studies show that high self-esteem is the #1 ingredient essential for developing happiness, fulfillment, rich relationships, and overall success in life. In the life of every child, usually sometime between birth and age 6, something happens to have the child doubt him or herself. Someone says or does something that has the child believe that he or she is flawed, unlovable, not worthy, imperfect.
Women constantly push really good guys right out of their lives without even knowing it. We do it by behaving in ways that, until pointed out by someone else, are a complete mystery. Finally, having this pointed out to me in my early 40s was a huge part of my transition from a pretty happy single gal to, at age 47, a truly fulfilled wife of a loving and adoring man.
The most power we have during a conflict is to notice when we’re triggered. Look for physical cues, sensations in your body, your tell-tale signs. As soon as you notice the tightness in your jaw or the heaviness in your chest, walk away. An argument is not what the conversation is about as much as the strong emotional reaction that happens when you’re triggered, and one of the keys to conflict resolution is to try not to engage when you're triggered!
Several years ago I wrote a piece titled 'The Dog Days of Summer.' I didn't really know what that term meant or where it came from. I imagined it meant something about dogs and how hot they got on the hottest days of the year, which led them to seek shade and rest under the nearest tree. After doing a little research I discovered this idiom was referring to a constellation that occurred during the time period between July 3 and August 11. Not at all what I had thought - and a little disappointing!
Kind of a funny concept isn't it! Even I, the author of the above title, must admit, yet it makes me happy to note. I just made it up today as I was Noticing how much joy I get from simply Noticing things, without thoughts of judgment or action mucking up the works. We humans spend much of our time NOT Noticing much of anything. We take in the tasks of the day without noticing what they mean to us. We interact with the people in our lives without noticing who they really are. We partake of entertainment, at times without truly experiencing the moment.
A woman can love a man till death, but if that physical passion combined with mental stimulation, is missing, then she may unknowingly feel unfulfilled until she meets another man who has the passion she never knew she needed.
It happens to everyone. You’re sailing along smoothly in a meaningful relationship and then next thing you know, you find yourself single. Sometimes it’s expected, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s your choice. Sometimes it’s not. Whatever the reason, you’ve recently found yourself single. Now what?