Continually focusing on what isn't only gives more power to it. The universe doesn't really have an opinion about what you want or don't want. It just listens to you. So, if you are telling the universe that the status quo is okay with you, it will listen. The universe doesn't pick and choose who gets what they want. It doesn't say, "Oh, you are a better person, therefore you get what you want, but you? You're not worthy." It simply listens to the messages you are sending out.
It's a simple question. And you probably know the answer. But you don't want to go there. But first, what does it mean to "tolerate" something? By definition, if you are tolerating something, it is a negative in your life. You are "putting up with it," and there is no positive feedback loop. We don't have to tolerate things we love, things that are good for us, positive interactions and actions - we enjoy them, they feed us, and we get back from them.
I like to think of each one of us like a branch on an enormous tree. We are a part of something bigger than each of us, yet we are a part of creator/spirit/universe. Because we are a tribe of one, and individually, a part of the whole, our ability to create our life is astounding. (In other words, if we are a part of everything, we are also spirit... and therefore a creator ourselves!) The problem is, we're so often not paying attention to what we are creating. That means that we often create by default.
So, I've been going along, loving my life, loving my work. Spirit has been whispering in my ear, "Psst. Hey." I listen, hear a little something, do a little tweaking, and continue right on with what I am doing. Some time goes by, and I get a stronger clunk on the head. Spirit says, "YO! I'm talking to you!" Okay, I listen closer and I begin to get new ideas, see things a little differently, take some action, but still I don't quite act decisively.
Guilt is an emotion you feel because you believe you've caused (or will cause) harm. Aside from objective evidence that you caused true (not perceived) harm to someone, I suggest you question the logic of your guilt. How did you come to the conclusion that you should feel guilty for wanting more? Let's examine that. How could your wanting more be bad for the universe? How could it be guilt-worthy to desire to be more authentically you?
So many people start out the new year thinking, "Starting January 2 (because you give yourself that extra day to be 'bad' ) I'm going to... quit smoking, lose weight, go to the gym, open my own business, switch jobs, stand up for myself... " The list can go on and on, but the truth is, resolutions are generally flimsy. They're limp. They aren't backed up appropriately, and so they only serve to make you feel bad about yourself. So how do you begin to change things?
Personal transformation is not selfish. It is not egotistical or self-centered to want to be the best person you can be. It is when people feel "less than" that they feel the need to prove their point, strike out, cause strife, hurt people. Those feelings are, obviously, evidence of the amount of pain someone is in. But it's not always that overt.
Abraham: "Fear is the feeling sensation that is present within you when you have both a desire and a belief that contradicts it." Desire is a strong sensation. You feel it deep within you, almost at a level you can't articulate. Sometimes you have a desire that is more superficial (meaning, more on the surface), and therefore it is more easily identified: "I want an ice cream cone." "I want to be successful in my career." "I want a new home."
The concept of yin and yang is used a lot in contemporary language, but the beauty and breadth of this concept is not always fully understood. Yin and yang can serve to guide and give us a framework for virtually anything life serves up. It's especially useful when approaching the inescapability of life's transitions, to create transformation in our lives.
We know that it "shouldn't" (one of my least favorite words, but you know what I mean) take a disaster to have us focus on living a life that is rich, feeds our soul, celebrates life and that looks at what we have instead of what we don't have. But the silver lining to a disaster is that it is an opportunity for us to do just that.