What is "husband material" anyway? If you are single and looking for Mr. Right, this question has probably crossed your mind more than a few times. If you are a romantic, you probably think the sparks and fireworks you feel every time you are together will let you know. If you're more pragmatic, you likely have a list of attributes you want, and you dismiss men who don't live up to those expectations. Both of these approaches require modification to accommodate real human beings with strengths and weaknesses.
Do you ever come home after a night talking with friends or family feeling satisfied, content, even euphoric? When we open up, share ourselves, listen to each other, and really connect, it makes us feel like we belong. That connection with others is the key to a happy life. And having that perfect partner, your soul mate, to connect with is part of this.
If you are not talking openly about money, there are probably other things that are being avoided that then add to the widening distance between you and your spouse.
As you settle into a long-term relationship, you settle into its particular rhythm. Every relationship has one and every rhythm is unique to that relationship. Sometimes you will affect your relationship; sometimes life will impact its ebb and flow. Either way, you can be sure that your path will not be a smooth ride without any bumps or detours. Yours may look something like this—
One of the trends I dislike in our culture is the reluctance of people to take responsibility, or to respond with care to each other. In my counseling practice, I hear a lot of self-justification, mind-reading, defensiveness, blaming and complaining; which is why relationships, friendships, business connections and day-to-day living are not going well for that client. Their lives are not about trying to understand their own role in the problem, so they can deal with it effectively, but to push the responsibility off onto someone else, and avoid it.
Be kind to yourself today. Affirmations by themselves are not all that need to do to enact change within yourself, but are a wonderful enhancement to positive self-development. Positive parenting and feeling well and confident take conscious, daily effort. The conscious processing of perceived hurts and events helps clear out old habits, making way for new thoughts and ways of being.
Most women over 30 just aren't that open to going out to meet men after they've been running errands all day or working 10 hours straight. We'd rather curl up with a good book or the dog.