The other day I got a call from a worried parent, concerned about her 17-year-old daughter who is in an abusive relationship. She asked about what she could do and how she could get her daughter away from him. A question I am sure is mirrored by lots of worried parents, friends or co-workers who know someone they care about is in an abusive relationship but don't know what to do about it. I thought long and hard before I answered this parent and I just said, "Be there for her."
Nobody wants contact with a bully, in grade school or at any age. From a compassionate communication standpoint (www.communicationcoaching.net) even a bully has a reason for his/her actions. As hard as that may be to understand OR accept, if we know his story, we might find it easier to connect. That doesn’t mean to accept it, but rather to see what need he wants fulfilled.
Jamie had been dating Jason for 5 months. They moved fast. The pace of their relationships was relentless — 3 dates a week, entire weekends together, texts through-out the day, almost nightly phone calls. It was out of character for both of them, but that was okay because it just felt right. And then Jamie went on vacation without Jason to a country without cell phone service. And finally, Jamie and Jason had a moment to think.
So how do you know if you have fallen prey to this subtle form of abuse? It is helpful to start paying attention to your feelings and emotions. If you tune into your body, you will gain clues to help you discover if your partner is trustworthy or not. The easiest way to tell is to ask yourself, "Do I feel emotionally safe with my partner?"
Are you afraid that someone you care about is a victim of domestic abuse?
I often get calls from guys regarding “flaky” girls. I heard three frustrating stories in one week. The first one is about a very sweet gentleman named Joe who had a date set with Cindy. Cindy even confirmed by calling Joe to ask if they could meet one hour later that night because she had something to do. He complied and went to pick her up at 7:45 p.m. He arrived at her door; knocked, there was no answer. He knocked some more and even called her name. The lights in the house were on and the dogs were barking.
Do you sometimes feel an aching hunger in the pit of your stomach? It is a deep longing for something to fill the void you sense is there. One client recently described it as a clenching in his gut and a desperate emptiness with a compelling urgency to fill it. Unfortunately, he like many of us misinterpreted the feeling and what he really needs.
As I sat on my bed, looking at my wife as she got ready for bed in the bathroom I was excited about the conversation we had had earlier in the day about having sex. I picked up my book and began to read as I waited for my beautiful wife Alisa to come to bed so that we could have some fun. The minutes ticked by one after another. My eyes began to shut as my body relaxed for another night of sleep. When I woke up it was the next morning and the feeling of being rejected once again hit me.