If you ever have been part of a winning team, not just a winning team but a team that meshed and worked like magic and overcame huge obstacles like the 1980 US Hockey team that beat the Russians, you know what synergy means. It is like magic. When a couple becomes committed to each other, they become a team. It means they leave their respective families and join together to make a new family that is the first family and the roots of a new family tree.
In all the years that we have been saying to clients, "Intentions equal results," this past couple weeks was the first time the concept of "setting intentions" really seemed to resonate with people. Instead of setting resolutions, sites like Facebook were ablaze with people setting their intentions for the year.
People join online dating sites for many reasons: To find an activity partner, a friend, a date, a long-term relationship, marriage, or marriage and children. Some sites are even nice enough to lay out all of these choices side-by-side for us. All it takes is the click of a button or two to list what we’d like to find in our online dating adventure. Curiously enough, “pen pal” is not an option.
Take a moment right now to think about your real intention when it comes to love: Is it most important to you to get someone to love you - to get love? Is it more important to you to be a loving person - to give love to yourself and others? At any moment, you can have only one of these two intentions; the one you choose determines your experience of love. Getting Love
"I met a relationship coach who is making $20,000 per month." Jenni said triumphantly. "Are you sure?" I said, head cocked to one side and eyebrow raised. "Well, that's what she said." she replied, her spirit a little wilted. "How are YOU doing with your online business?" I wondered. "Not very well. I have tried the best I can. I send out great emails and have wonderful classes but only 10 to 20 people sign up. I can't keep myself afloat with so few students!"
You return home after a magical date, your heart filled to the brim with dreams of your future together. You're sure this time, sure that this is the one. You've talked about all the heavy issues - your career dreams, his crazy uncle, your teenagers - and he's said all the right words and assured you that together you can work out anything. As you slip out of your heels and head to the bedroom, you can feel your heart beating a little faster. Gently he closes the door, you light a candle, and then completely melt into his arms as lips and hearts meet.
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." ~ William Gibson When I saw this quote on a friend's Facebook wall I laughed out loud with delight and recognition. It hit me on a subconscious level. Why did I like it so much? I couldn't tell you. It even seemed wrong that I, a psychologist, would like the idea of blaming depression on others. And then there was the swearing bit.
How? It’s one of the deepest most thought provoking words that we utilize to communicate. When it's used to begin analyzing the “gay bomb revelation” it can make us feel really small and incompetent. How could I not have known he was gay? How did I let myself get sucked into her gay charade? How will I ever face my friends as the idiot who married a “gay?”
We all know that a man appreciates when you get all gussied up for him and whet his appetite in something short and lacy, but when we shop for something that looks good for his eyes, we sometimes don't think about how WE feel wearing it. We don't don't think about how it affects us emotionally when we wear that item.
I often hear people say, "Facebook ruins relationships." And I must admit, I absolutely loved that the last guy I dated didn't have an account. But Facebook doesn't ruin relationships. Neither do strip clubs, porn, or online dating sites. People ruin relationships.