As mentioned in a previous article, the duration of separation is lengthy, averaging over three years. In working with our clients, we’ve found that that the major reason for the man to delay filing for divorce is fear of loss; the emotional connection with your spouse, not seeing your kids every day, and a big decrease in your finances.
As a relationship coach, one of the most frequent questions I get asked is - What is a coach and what do you do? Some people are best able to relate to the sports analogy of coaching. Think about a two person athletic team [e.g.volleyball, synchronized diving, rowing] and why they would hire a coach. The reasons and motivations vary - some people believe and/or feel that they have basic talents and would like to develop them to the next level. Others think or feel that they need an objective party to observe [in the case of a relationship coach it would be about l
With the 2012 presidential election looming like a vulture over an antelope carcass, we often feel the need to justify our position on this important choice to those around us, especially our mates. We can often plead the fifth when others issue political proclamations, but when you start reviewing your ballot at the kitchen table and your husband walks in and says, “So, honey, who ya voting for?” It is difficult to say, “No comment.” Then, he disagrees with you and begins to give reasoned arguments about why your decision is irrational. You get
What went wrong? You wonder. You start to question your intuition. Then you make up reasons why he didn't call or text or anything else for that matter. There will be no more pairings of wine and cheese or your lips with his lips ever again. So why didn't he call you? It's probably not the reasons you think. But let's dive into a few of the stories we can tell ourselves.
"I just have to tell you how I feel. I'm very upset about what you did." "I'm really angry with you." "I just want to be honest with you. I'm so hurt by what you said." Each of these statements is a sharing of feelings. Yet the chances are the person at the other end of this sharing of feelings will feel attacked and respond defensively. So what's the problem? Aren't we supposed to share our feelings?
In a full day VIP session that took place a month ago with a client, I discovered a pattern that I have to share with you! My client, let’s call her Sandra, was extremely frustrated with her dating life. The kind of guys she was attracting in were great: courteous, gentlemanly, respectful, had their shit together. They had stability in their life and careers, and when it came to continuing to date after the second or third date, she kept getting the “I just want to be friends.” She was like, “What am I doing wrong?!”
Our relationships are probably the most important aspect of our life. As a relationship expert, I tell people that I specialize in relationship to others and yourself. It's my belief that the two very much go together. Clearly, whether it's concerning yourself or others, there are times when things are difficult, confusing or complicated. Fortunately, in today's world, there's a great deal of information that is available to folks. Wonderful sites such as this one, books, CDs, etc.
When we nurture and care for ourselves, it means that we value ourselves. Many people are looking for a life -partner, but they don't love themselves enough so why would someone else? Taking time out to cleanse, rebalance and focus is a great way to energize every cell in your body, including your mind. Women have the tendency to do everything for everyone else and put themselves last. If you are not healthy and full of energy, then you are no good to anyone else.
As a matchmaker, I'm constantly asked, "When is it too early to have sex with someone I like?"
Yes, I hid in the closet through 13 years of marriage. I brought two young girls into the world only to turn their universe upside-down and inside-out by putting them through divorce and admitting I'm gay.