Peggy had been married to James for 14 years when she first consulted with me for help with her relationship and her anxiety. "I can't stand being in this marriage anymore. We have two wonderful children and I don't want to break up this family, but I'm miserable and anxious much of the time. I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells and I can't be myself."
When you have become emotionally close to another person, you have become more vulnerable. This vulnerability opens the doors for that person to do things that really hurt, which often comes out when conflicts arise. At the same time, you can develop higher expectations about what the other person does and how they should act towards you. This also can lead to unfulfilled expectations which could result in resentment or even anger, even without the other person knowing that they have done something to hurt you.
When I was single, the reason I couldn’t find a good man was my habit of “wishful hoping.” I am long past that now, but as a coach I find “wishful hoping” is probably one of the key factors that make finding your true love take so long. “Wishful hoping” is very similar to being in a state of longing. You may understand it better if I share with you this definition of longing by Gay Hendricks:
Each of us has a picture of our ideal mate. I bet he is handsome, witty, a good listener, has a good sense of humor and is successful in his career! What if the last part of the “successful in his career” was missing? Would you be interested in this guy? What if he was successful until recently and now he is out of work? Would you give this guy the time of day?
Each person allows for the individuality of each person within the relationship. Experience both oneness & separateness from their partner. Bringing out the best qualities in each other. Inviting growth in their partner. Experiencing openness to change & exploration in both partners & in the relationship. Experiencing true intimacy in the relationship - physically, emotionally, intellectually, & spiritually. The freedom to ask honestly for what they want.
Long distance relationships are not for the fearful; they’re for the audacious. The brassy, bold + brave. You exchange massive time alone for fleeting doses of joy with your beloved. Critics say the long-distance relationship is doomed. Heartache inevitable. Dreams decimated. “You can’t go on that way forever,” they tout. But you insist you can. And as long as you do, you’ll be required to practice the qualities of faith + fortitude Independence + imagination..
In the age of cell phones, text messaging, emails and social networking, there seems to be a pandemic going around, and it's affecting the entire world.
I'm extremely lazy when it comes to certain areas of my life. For example, I'll spend loads of time going to workshops, learning, and studying in my field, but won't bother to take the time to match my socks. I'm so lazy that one day I bought 12 pairs of identical socks so I didn't have to bother finding mates and matching them.
In an effort to spread awareness, Planned Parenthood is flexing its political muscles to explain why Mitt Romney is the wrong choice for women, and they aren't joking around. According to the Washington Post, the organization will run its largest campaign ad to date in Virginia and Ohio over the next several weeks.
My maternal grandmother was a sweet woman. Everyone says that about their old grannies, I know, but I mean mine was after every sort of sweet candy, cake, cookie and pie (especially pie!) she could get her hands on. She was a sweet soul, too, don't get me wrong, but I loved the way she would allow us to have dessert first, and how when she went to Vegas with Grandpa she would head straight to the dessert buffets.