Identifying the problem areas in ones' marriage is relatively easy, but the difficult part is ferreting out effective mechanisms to bridge the communication gap that often occurs when one’s partner has ADD. Knowledge, patience, and empathy go a long way in working on these issues.
Many people are attracted to individuals with ADD for their zany sense of humor, imagination, creativity, charm and “out of the box” thinking. But for many couples those attractive qualities can sometimes fade in the light of untreated ADD. I receive hundreds of calls and e mails from frustrated partners of individuals with ADD (POADD’s) asking if I could please work with their partner in assisting with the various aspects of ADD that are affecting the quality of their lives and relationships.
Your fears, anxieties, and other problems have the best of you and you don’t know where to turn for help. At some point you feel totally helpless as you struggle each day. You can have all the money in the world and be well known by many people, but when it comes down to it, none of it matters when it comes to dealing with your persistent fears and anxieties. Fame, money, and success will not take away your fears.
This past month, I have been enrolled in a 7 week therapist’s course given by Melissa Orlov on the ADHD effects on marriage. Melissa, who is an expert on this subject, and who has written the book (by the same name) The ADHD Effects on Marriage, offers its’ readers one of the most comprehensive and clearly written books that I have read on this subject.
I have had the pleasure of knowing Melissa Orlov over the past few years and when asked recently to write a “six word biography,” She wrote “Failed marriage resuscitated. Now helping others.” Melissa has blended her personal experience of coming back from the brink of divorce with an ADHD spouse with knowledge about ADHD in adults, becoming one of the top experts in how ADHD impacts relationships. I asked Melissa if she would be willing to answer some important quiestions regarding the problems facing couples with ADHD and she graciously accepted.
What can you do when your spouse stresses you out? Instead of yelling at one another, there are ways to reduce conflicts and your stresses. Here are some suggestions on how to not let your spouse stress you out. Talk with your spouse about your problem. If you can, ask your spouse if she is having any problems and if there is anything you can do about it. Talking with your spouse is very important and can prevent potential conflicts from turning into arguments.
All most everybody worries about what will happen in the future regarding their relationships. The prospect of not knowing if something good or bad will happen to you in the near future can produce a lot of fear and anxiety. As a result, here is a list of techniques and suggestions on how to manage this fear of dealing with the unknown.
A sure way to overcoming your fears and anxieties is in finding the source of your fears and being able to manage it. In dealing with any kinds of fears or anxieties, try to learn what is the real source of your fears and anxieties. Knowing what is causing your anxieties can go a long way in finding the solution.
Have you ever gone on a date, met a man, and then immediately felt a spark? That delicious feeling of "ooooh, he's cute...and funny...and sweet...and fun....and I want more!" that runs up your back and down your neck and makes you giggle just a little too much? Have you ever met a job that makes you feel the same way?
Some people get into a relationship so they do not have to be alone. This is not a good idea. Getting into a relationship with someone just so you are with someone doesn’t always work out. A person should get into a relationship for the right reasons. Getting into a relationship with someone for the sake of not being by yourself can cause problems down the road. What happens if you pick the wrong person? Let’s say you choose someone and you get married. After five or six months, you start to realize that you made a mistake in selecting this person.