If you’re like many women, Valentine’s Day can be tricky; it’s a big deal for you, and your man somehow blows it more often than he gets it “right”. How can you deal with this annual dance of angst leading up to February 14th, so often followed by hurt, angry, disappointed or resentful feelings afterwards?
Marie fell in love with Steve the first night they met. June was right, he was perfect for her-handsome, a good listener and in a similar line of work. Soon she was madly in love to the point of going over the top in every way to enjoy their love affair. Sleep didn't matter. Food didn't matter. Her job didn't matter. Only Steve mattered. The love making was unbelievable, and so was the connection. The magic would go on forever....
Jen can’t remember the last time she and her husband Bob, had a date or a moment purely to themselves. They both have demanding careers as well as a busy family life. All four of their kids are active in sports so free time is spent shuttling one (or more) to practices and games.
Déjà vu, the feeling that you have experienced a similar situation before, happens to all of us. We walk into a new restaurant and it feels familiar. Someone says something to you and you know that you have heard them say the same exact thing to you previously. Feeling like you are reliving a moment in time can be eery. It reminds of us the comedy Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray where his character lives the same day repeatedly.
You may realize the healthiest thing for you to do is to really break up with your ex. Stop calling. Stop texting. Stop driving by his house, his job or his hangouts. Ask yourself, "Do I really want this person if she or he stays exactly the same?" If you realize the answer is no, it's time to break up with your ex!
Another first date. Another voicemail. Another unreturned phone call. Does this crushing disappointment sound familiar to you? If it does, not too worry. You are far from alone. With women having more options than ever these days due to the emergence of online dating, second dates aren’t exactly easy to reach.
Avoiding the ‘money chat’ prior to saying ‘I do’, is an accident waiting to happen. At that intersection of money and truth, the clock is ticking; that avoidance will control every decision you make in that marriage. The decision to get married is huge, topped only by the decision to have a baby. Getting married becomes legal from the get-go; a blood test is required and a license and a third party to perform the ceremony. Humph! What is this telling us?
If you’re like most people, the beginning of the new year caused you to look back and see what you didn’t accomplish in the year that just passed, and look ahead to think about what you want to accomplish in the year ahead. You probably spent the days leading up to New Year’s Eve contemplating your choices and forming resolutions based on things that were most important to you.
One of the most difficult concepts that a lot of my clients struggle with is the notion of gratitude. I talk about this in my best-selling book Goodbye Mr Ex, where I dedicate an entire chapter to it. And yet it is possible. I have seen women who have been gang raped, had parents or children murdered finally fall into the sweet arms of gratitude to finally find the peace they have been searching for.
For many of us, life has been taken over by duties and goals, with occasional weekends offering relief from the treadmill of daily requirements. You can be so in tune with responsibilities that you forget the healing powers of pleasure and play. For times when you forget the restorative benefits of self-indulgence, keep this list handy.