Recently, I had someone from my audience write in confessing that he was dubbing out his wife during sex and fantasizing about other people. He wanted to know if this was normal and if he was a bad person? Has this ever happened to you? I’d bet some of you have had this experience. As a sex educator/intimacy coach I try to normalize a lot of bedroom behavior but every now and again there are some boundaries that need to be explored and worked out. Have I heard this? Of course. Do I think it’s normal? That’s hard to say.
You're recently divorced. You married your high school sweetheart and haven't been on a date in 25 years. At the end of your marriage, there certainly weren't many romantic sparks, and now you feel really out of touch with your romantic and sensual side. Maybe you've been on a few blind dates, dabbled in online dating and even checked out the health club. But your nerves are frayed, your self confidence is low, and the whole idea of dating again knocks you for a loop.
“Animals Showing Off” is an amazing National Geographic pop-up book that fell into my lap — or rather, I found it in the backseat of my car. I was taking some books to the local bookshop but when I saw blue-footed boobies on the front cover, a light bulb literally lit up right above my head. Eureka! I’ve gotta do some animal mating research.
This seems to be a hard topic for women to talk about openly so I'm just going to get right to it. Genital hygiene. Many women have reported that they don't feel as sexual because no matter what they do, they still feel like their vulva has an odor. Gaining your sexual confidence in the bedroom is one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself so I put together a quick video describing:
I know a lot of women whose husbands' alpha male wiring goes to a whole other level. Unfortunately, many of these wives are in denial of their husband's behavior because, for whatever reason, they don't want to confront the issue. Here are six clues that your partner may be acting more bully than just alpha.
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...And they lived happily ever after You don't have to be a hopeless romantic or a Disney uber-fan to feel something when you read these words. The desire to attract and sustain a long-lasting, satisfyingly happy love relationship is shared by many women and men too. There is something comforting and pleasing about the prospect of finding a mate, maybe even a soulmate, and having the passion and love continue to grow over time. Unfortunately, the dream of “happily ever after” feels impossible to many.
Lately baby, I've been thinkin' How good it was when you we're here And it ain't the wine that I’ve been drinkin' For once I feel my head is clear But early this mornin', when I opened my eyes That old lonesome feelin' took me by surprise I guess you meant more to me than I realized The love we had stays on my mind The love we had stays on my mind The Dells . . . The Love We Had Stays on My Mind . . . 1971
What I find is critical to many of my clients is to surround themselves with like minded people who provide positive energy to their dating efforts. Ask yourself this Relationship Question: “Who is in your support system and how do they support your dating?” When I was single, I realized I was hanging out with a group of women who were not supporting my efforts. They were critical and judgmental. Also, I found out they would say negatives things about me behind my back.
People who are unhappy with themselves and afraid of being alone are alone even if they are married. Due to their fear of being alone they make poor decisions and most of the time decisions are made from a feeling of desperation. Childhood abuse or chaotic family situations can cause a child grief and self loathing. This does not go away. They choose a partner that represents how they feel about themselves.