Money is one of those super-charged topics that can turn a conversation from lukewarm to boiling in an instant. Money conversations can bring even the level-headed to an emotional breaking point when their anxiety rises to the surface. Is it our mistaken beliefs about money (that we'd miraculously be happier, better looking, attractive, secure etc. if we had more of it) that has created the place for such a hot button response? It's a good question to ask because our lack of understanding about why we react the way we do is one of the reasons we're plagued with such childlike fears around money. To gain control of your money fears, first you have to understand them.
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By Maia Berens
When I run across someone who expects to have a perfect relationship at all times, I feel sad for them. Life is not like that. Babies are perfect – and then they cry and mess their diapers. Relationships often seem perfect in the beginning and then something happens. What is it that happens?
Is that normal? When Genevieve, a Rapunzel, was younger, she had a long string of intimate relationships. She didn't see it as love sabotage. Sex was a natural part of her dating life. It started when she was 15. Sex became no big deal. Now at 43 and struggling to define love differently, she isn’t sure what is normal.
Someone asked me recently how I manage to still have great sex with my partner; after all, we’ve been together for twenty-four years. She thought there was something wrong with her relationship when, after five years, she no longer had desire for her partner.
I recently overheard a conversation between two men at the gym. They sounded angry, bitter and jaded. I was use to hearing women complain like this, but not men, so of course, I listened closely. These men all agreed that all women are looking for is men with money. They talked about how they were sized up by their car and joked about how funny it would be to show up for dates with a rented Jag or Mercedes, and trick the women into believing that they had money. They supported each other’s belief that what was keeping women from them was the size of their paycheck.
This guest article from Psych Central was written by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. “People try to minimize the differences when they’re in love,” says Joel Crohn, Ph.D., author of Mixed Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial, Interethnic and Interfaith Relationships. But dismissing the differences can be detrimental to a couple in the future. If you’re part of an interfaith relationship, you have an extra layer of diversity to deal with.
Happy is Sexy What exactly makes someone sexy? Many people will look to the physical for that answer. They will look to see a style, a body type, a hair color, skin type, type of car, home, clothing, level of success etc. At first, all of this is sexy. We view sexy as being an external world characteristic. I agree, first impression and attraction preferences are a part of it, and also necessary—in the beginning.
We know the importance of discussing sex before we hop into bed. But money? Oh, no. talking about money with a potential life partner can feel much more embarrassing—and threatening—than a rundown of our sexual history.
When it comes to love, one of the hardest areas for couples to successfully, and harmoniously, navigate is their wallets. It's well known that money is a leading cause of divorce. And in the therapist's office, a well-tested belief is that sex and money are two of the most important issues to talk over—so much so that the belief is that if you're not talking about sex and money, someone (and maybe it's the therapist) is in denial! Money is a major force in most relationships—this week, Experts teach us how to harness its power.
Today I'm talking about the voices in your head - although, not in a Multiple Personality Disorder way. I'm talking about that team of folks who take up residence in your brain and tell you things like, "You're not going to be good enough at that," or "You don't deserve to be that happy," or "Who do you think you are?".