When my daughter was in first grade, I was at a department store buying some pants for my then 6-year-old daughter. As I was looking around, I was astounded at the amount of inappropriate clothing that exists for young girls. There was clothing that was outrageously shiny, clubbing wear, t-shirts with inappropriate words on them, the list continues. Why, I would like to know, does a 6 year old girl, or any girl for that matter, need to wear clothes that draw undue sexual attention to themselves?
When I was in graduate school one of my fellow students told me at a social gathering that I looked like Sharon Stone. SHARON STONE???!!! Now don’t get me wrong. I think Sharon Stone is gorgeous, talented, and has a body to die for. Why shouldn’t this be the best compliment I have ever received? Well, the truth of the matter is that I look nothing like Sharon Stone. I am brown skinned, have wavy black hair, and a curvaceous figure. In fact, the only thing that Sharon Stone and I have in common is that we both are women.
Humans are seriously resilient. We talk a lot about children being resilient. (Especially, it seems, after we feel like we’ve done something to hurt them.) But actually, all humans have the capacity for incredible resiliency. Given that our true nature is wellbeing—and that the only thing that can ever hide that wellbeing is thought—we’re always only a thought away from bouncing right back to our default state.
A controversial new study concludes that spanking your kids is harmless as long as they feel loved by their parents, but is this strict punishment healthy?
With all of the recent incidents of bullying, I am recollecting some of my own experiences of it. It evokes a myriad of feelings and it is for this very reason, that it has taken me weeks to write this particular piece. For me, my belief is that sharing can be an important part of the human experience, it helps us feel connected to one another. For years I had stifled these experiences and then when they came out, I not only felt immense pain, but also utter dismay that I had lived with these feelings for so long.
Do you think there is something from your past that needs to be healed? I used to believe that the past required healing. But when you think about it, how could that be? The past is over. It’s nonexistent today. How could something that doesn’t exist need anything? The past only comes up today in your thinking about it. It’s there, I’m not denying that. I’m sure you have current thinking about the past, just like I do.
Recently several incidents have occurred in the media and to people whom I know and it is making me ponder upon the issue of us, as people, being bystanders. As a human race, do we have the courage that it takes to step up and do something when we see injustice occurring? The bystander effects refers to the phenomenon that the more people present in a social situation, the less likely they are going to help someone during a time of distress.
I remember hearing about some research once that linked self-focus—thinking about yourself a lot and making things that happen out in the world about you in some way—with depression. The more you think about yourself, the more depressed you are. There are obviously a lot of missing variables here. This doesn’t mean that focusing on yourself causes depression or that depression causes self-focus. It just means that they are related in some way.
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