At one of my three-day advanced mini-intensive in Santa Barbara we had a wonderful discussion about the difference between approval and appreciation. I had never thought about the difference until someone asked about it. As so often happens when someone asks a question, the answer came through me and others and delighted all of us.
I recently had a first session with a client who said, about halfway into the hour “Wow. I like you. I’m surprised.” I laughed, but I knew what the client meant. As a psychotherapist in private practice, I encounter a lot of people who waited far too long to come in for counseling because they didn’t understand what it was or how it could help them. When they do finally come in, I hear all the reasons why they haven’t come in sooner. There’s a lot of bad information out there.
Don’t over-emphasize the importance of giving THINGS. In the end, the greatest Valentine’s gift of all to the one you love is the gift of your time. Our love and marriage research on all seven continents of the world and in 47 countries over more than 30 years completely supports this concept.
The 7 Step Cookie Jar Method To Have An Epic Dating Life & Great Communication I’m always talking about dating, sex, love and relationships with all kinds of people that I meet from all walks of life, and I pay attention to what they say. A man I know, who I kind-of met online, and kind-of met in a coffee shop, have become great friends and you can guess what our favorite topics is… relationships.
When you're in love, the Valentine's season is just perfect. All those red hearts, the roses and the sickeningly sweet commercial messages seem to be written just for you. And when you're not in love, and you so wish you were -- all that red and pink just feels like a heavy, thick, syrupy wet blanket. Yes? Here's how to embrace Valentine's Day when your love life is just not happening at the moment....
Researchers wrote in a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, "romantic relationships are, at their core, friendships." "As such, it may be the case that valuing that aspect of the relationship fortifies the romantic relationship against negative outcomes and serves as a buffer against dissolution," they added. Apparently, having a strong friendship bond with your partner is the secret to having a long-lasting romantic relationship.
Teasing and bullying are part of the rough and tumble competition for attention and status among siblings and peers. Sometimes we get used to it by the time we are 30, sometimes not. But for children just entering the social jungle, it can be quite a shock. Some think that physical bullying is worse than teasing. But emotional abuse by cruel teasing can be very damaging and the young child does not know what is happening to him emotionally, where as it is easy to explain that Tommy hit me.
And then you blink, and you are in our 50s. You finally get to start living some of your dreams instead of just planning them. All your experiences before then — the joyful, educational and even the painful — prepared your for creating a delicious life in the years ahead — a life that most definitely includes grownup love.
I tip toe quietly into the deep space within this moment. It expands far beyond my consciousness. I am aware that I feel calm, joy woven with peace today. The excitement of my future is dancing around this present moment. It is like the vastness of this gulf of water I sit beside. I cannot see to the other side, yet I know the goodness of life lives fully over there reflecting my feelings right here and now.
Romantic dinners, candlelight and champagne tend to go hand in hand with Valentine's Day. Traditionally, this is one of the busiest seasons for winemakers. Whether it's champagne, red or white wine, couples across the world celebrate their relationships with a clink of the glasses.