I admit it: I am a recovering narcissist. Much of my life energy was spent in pursuit of what I wanted, what I needed, and what I thought was best. “Narcissism” is a term from psychopathology, but it’s essentially a fancy term for extreme selfishness.
In my 15 years of coaching, women have come to me over and over again with the same problem: falling for a married man. The stories always begin the same way: "There's this guy... he's soo great! We connect in every way and he makes my heart flutter like a schoolgirl. I know, I know... he's married. But we've only gone on a couple of innocent dates..." Then, the guy makes his move.
Stuck in a romantic rut? Sometimes, you just need to spice up your sex life with a theme! Take a page out of expert Sherri Nickols' book and try one of these saucy date night themes.
We have all heard that most of what we say to others is non-verbal. One UCLA study found that up to 93% of communication is through non-verbal cues. In fact, our body language gives away how we’re feeling at times when maybe we don’t even cognitively realize it. Your partner is an expert on picking up non-verbal signals from you.
Here’s the thing: as students, we’re told a lot of things that we ought to be doing. Don’t procrastinate! Study hard! Do your homework! Go to class! Go see your Professor! Get involved! Find a leadership position! Do community service! But the problem is, these admonitions are often offered as unsolicited advice. Few people first ask, what do you want to be doing?
If you are a couple in distress and not sure if you will ever figure out how to connect again, fear not. There is a way out of despair and back to each other. That golden roadmap to connecting with your partner again is called – in more official lingo – Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). I know, “therapy” doesn’t sound as interesting, but before I lose you, please read on…because EFT works, and if you feel desperate to connect with your partner once again, it may be for you.
Most people may never meet their heroes. I am bless to say that I have raised one of mine. I am emotional and giddy that this weekend, I will get to see my hero cross a major milestone. I will be able to hug him and maybe even get a picture of the two of us. He has inspired me to be a better person. His vision, strength and determination are my beacons for living my best life. He is as big to me as any famous person.
In the eight months since my husband's sudden death, I made it through the first Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter. For each one, I had friends and family in place to spend time with. The last thing on my mind was the need to be prepared for grieving around the "first" tax preparation.
Ready for what? Ready to come? Ready to commit? Ready to go out? Okay, so my mind goes first to sex, but really, with a question like this, it doesn’t matter the scenario. The issue is in how the question is phrased. “She’s not ready.” That is not a complete sentence and lacks any context. Without context, there is no understanding. Communication is the issue. Let’s start backwards: Not ready to go out? By this, I mean you’ve said you’d be ready at 7:30 p.m.