As a marriage counselor with a private practice in Westminster, Colorado I get a lot of calls from people looking for marriage counseling. As you can imagine, I get a lot of unique stories from people shopping around for a marriage counselor. I got one call from a woman about a year ago that I can still remember. She called and asked me if I “fix spouses”. I didn’t quite understand the question. It sort of sounded like a trap. “What do you mean by do I fix spouses” I asked.
The holidays bring up a lot of mixed emotions in many people. Falling in love during the holiday is a wonderful experience because the "holiday cheer" is intensified as you're looking at the world through rose colored goggles. But if you're dealing with heartache due to a breakup or relationship strife, the holidays can be excruciatingly tough for you. Here are four answers to your holiday questions and worries that will help you make this time of the year more bearable for you.
Often referred to as the Festival of Lights, Chanukah celebrates the miracle of lamp oil lasting eight days when it was only enough for one. But how does this apply to your love life?
Congrats on your pregnancy, New Dad! Now, we’ve got to talk about the upcoming birth. Gone are the days where men are given the pass to wait outside in the hallway and wait for the cries of your baby as mom sweats, pushes and grunts for hours surrounded by doctors or doulas. Dad, this is your time to shine!
There is a magical room in your home. In this room people learn, grow, speak, listen, think, make choices, accomplish, laugh, cry, prepare, clean, play... and, oh yes, eat. It is your kitchen and it is a space where people and relationships can blossom and thrive. How many of you are enjoying the magic that occurs here?
When we are going through the end of a relationship and contemplating separation or divorce, it's easy to relate to the winter darkness. It feels like walking through a long, dark tunnel. There are only occasional rays of light and they don't seem to last long enough. At times, we may believe that we will never find our way through.
The traditions, the families, the expectations, the disappointments. If you are facing your first (or second, or … ) holiday season after a separation or divorce, all of these challenges get magnified — and the joy can often seem elusive.
As soon as a girl hits puberty, people start warning her of the dangers of lecherous men–if not her parents, then the media and various well-meaning mentors. The subjects of these warnings run the spectrum from garden-variety “bad boys” to creepy, relentless stalkers. Most likely, women will have some exposure to the former and hopefully little to no experience with the latter. Fortunately, by our 20s, we realize that most men do not fall into these categories and our choice to withhold our personal info is not always based on our personal safety alone.
Does this happen to you? You are at a party, or a single’s event, and you meet someone where you are attracted physically to them. You talk about fifteen minutes on very superficial subjects such as the latest new restaurant or the upset of the local football team. No real connection was established and one of you finds a way to move on. No phone number was exchanged and the possibility of making a first date is not mentioned. And you leave the party or event with no new dating prospects.
The most couple-friendly time of year is upon us and so it is easy to fall victim to your inner Scrooge if you are single. Even the mall is seemingly no longer for all of us — couples strolling hand in hand, families taking their young children to see Santa and beaming newlyweds searching for the perfect gift. It is almost enough to make me want to say inside for the entire month of December, watching reruns of Sex and the City with a pint of ice cream.