As a life coach and a psychologist I’m often asked how to raise a great daughter without using a cattle prod or boat loads of inappropriate language. Any quick Google search will tell you the answer lies in self esteem, sports, academics, friends, and family stability. Those are all extremely important and very useful in raising that fantastic daughter but they are not the super secret ingredient. The super secret ingredient (to be shared right now) is YOU, her mom. Yes, it’s true; Mom (or a mother-like figure) is the key to that fabulous daughter you are all hoping for.
I know what you've been doing. Your demure demeanor, your conservative style of dress, you lowering your head in coy, feigned naïvete for talk show hosts when the subject of your love life comes up ... it's an entire brand built around your innocence, and it's been executed brilliantly.
Sometimes people cheat to experience passion and aliveness – something, for whatever reason, they may not feel in their primary relationship. They want the vitality of an erotic connection, and they seek out a new partner who makes them feel sexy and wanted. Or they have an affair to get the emotional connection that they’re missing at home.
No longer the dowdy older depressed empty nester, we are discovering a full and fabulous life after children leave home.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that ALL of their ideas are good ones. In fact, many are silly, impossible or end up setting a bad precedent. Donuts and chocolate cake for breakfast? Drawing with permanent markers while sitting on your new couch? Of course not. However, many of the things they complain about when it comes to their parents are right on the money.
Along with the excitement of being in a new relationship comes the feelings of butterflies and a well of hope that this person could be The One. Usually these emotions last during the Honeymoon Phase, the first few months of dating where everything seems picture perfect. While going through this euphoric stage, it's important to also manage your expectations from the other person. Once your feet come back down to earth and you remove your rose colored glasses, you may begin to see things differently.
Are you dating a lesbian who has children? Is it challenging or amazing? Likely, it's a bit of both.
When my husband and I walked out of the SAG screening of Silver Linings Playbook last Monday he said, "This movie is about love." He also said he could relate to Bradley Cooper's part. Whatever the emotional struggle men have in the world, this movie exemplified them. For some men, dealing with feelings is simply foreign territory and overwhelming. Last night in our Soho neighborhood in New York City, a building was destroyed by fire in a dispute between a man and his wife. He set fire to the building.
Yes, we choose who we give our hearts to, but here's the thing: I wasn't choosing with my head. I wasn't even choosing with my heart. I was choosing with my vagina.
Believe it or not, there are some ways women can benefit from taking a cue from our male counterparts. John Gray says that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and I agree. So, let's take a look at what we can learn from our Martian brothers.