When my last relationship broke up, I had a chance to talk to my ex post-mortem and ask him how he was feeling. Now, I’ll be honest, I was hoping for something along the lines of “I’m heartbroken and I want you back!” Instead, what I got was an expression of relief: he told me he felt glad to be “free” of my “expectations” for him. That he couldn’t make me happy, so he was glad not to have to try anymore. Great. Thanks, Ex-BF.
“You’re not good enough!” This thought plagues all women (and men), regardless of size. We know we would be successful in life if only we had more money, were taller, were thinner, had more hair, had straigh hair, were younger, were older, etc.
Anyone who has had their heart broken (perhaps, more than once??) knows that what is damaged even more than your pride, what is lost even more than your dreams for the future, what is even harder to get over than the ache of loss, is your ability to trust someone again. If you’re anything like me, learning to trust again is scarier and more difficult than climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro (not that I’ve ever tried that, mind you).
Out there in the big world of dating, every single wants supreme confidence – confidence in themselves, confidence in who they want to attract, confidence in how to act on the first few nerve wracking dates, confidence that they will have fun no matter what, confidence enough to be happy without being in a relationship. How do we get to this point of supreme dating confidence? Well, I’ve put together three essential tips to help you:
I apologize in advance if I offend anyone, but sometimes the truth hurts and I am going to be completely honest here. I, Michelle Smith IAT, CPD have not only been a babysitter and nanny for over 14 years myself, but as the owner of Embracing Babies Staffing Agency I refer babysitters and nannies out to parent clients for my business.
Or how to listen so he'll talk and how to talk so she'll listen. Listening intently to another person may just be the most amazing gift you can offer. I used to work on the 24/7 suicide crisis line in France and we were trained in Carl Rogers non-directive empathetic listening skills. When a call would come in, I would greet the caller with, "Hello, SOS Amitié." And wait for the person to speak up. Sometimes it would take a rather long moment, moments in which hesitations and silences give a lot of information to the intuitive listener.
Everyone is a mixed bag, the kindest person will become irate at times, and the meanest person can be found every now and then throwing some change at a homeless person. Dating, that effervescent mix of loneliness, want, desire and impatience, leads to blurry vision. How do you know when the person who is sharply ordering that second dessert to the slow waitress is mean or just having a bad day?
Dear Dr. Romance: How can one be sure that a person they met through a dating service is not disturbed in any way? What type of safety precautions can one take? Dear Reader: Love has a much better chance to be realized if you make some of your choices mentally, as well as by emotional attachment and chemistry. Choose commitments both with the "parent" or judgmental, evaluating, critical thinking method; and the "child" or romantic, turned on, chemistry method.
For many of you, the climate has changed dramatically. You have so many more resources at your fingertips with the online dating, the texting and the sexting. All the things that are acceptable now, were just unheard of when you were dating! Don't get overwhelmed with all that. Start with the basics.