Sometimes we just don't feel loving toward someone. Yet we know that there is a loving action called for in the situation. For example: • You know that your partner wants to be celebrated on her birthday, but you don’t like buying gifts or putting on parties. • You see that your partner is hurting and needing some comfort and compassion, but what you really want to do is relax in front of the TV.
"I don’t know how to network" or "Networking feels so fake" or "I'm too shy to network." Sound familiar? You know your business would improve if you networked, but you're just too uncomfortable to try. (Read the "Comfort Zone" post to get a perspective on discomfort.) The truth is, anyone can benefit from networking.
Do you find yourself saying some variation of "I could've had a V-8!" about the situations or choices you’ve made in your life? What does "I could've had a V-8!" mean, anyway? Poor decisions, or chronic lack of satisfaction?
While flipping through the channels, I landed on HBO’s series "Enlightened," and stayed to watch because I admire actress Laura Dern's work. She plays Amy Jellicoe, a corporate executive who has a dramatic flame-out, goes to a spiritual retreat center, and returns to her life as a new-and-improved Amy, she believes. While she gets on her feet, she lives with her mother, played by Diane Ladd, Laura Dern's real-life mother. We get to see how Amy got to be such a mess, through seeing how cold, mean, and superior her mother is.
Does HBO have a monopoly on series centered around characters who suffer from narcissism? No, but the network sure has its share! There was Valerie Cherish (played by Lisa Kudrow) in "The Comeback," which my husband swears was cancelled because the character was too excruciating to watch. Now Amy Jellicoe (Laura Dern) is creating chaos in "Enlightened," with rumors swirling of its cancellation because of poor ratings.
A few years ago I was waiting in a doctor's office and, having forgotten to bring the parenting book I was studying, was at the mercy of Muzak. One of the songs that came on was a Céline Dion hit written by Diane Warren, "Because You Loved Me." I listened to the words—yes, I was bored!—and was put off by what I heard as sappy co-dependency between lovers:
The buzz in therapy circles in April 2012 concerned a New York Times article written by a NYC psychotherapist, Jonathan Alpert, who inflates his credentials and bashes long-term treatment and the therapists who provide it. He implies that long-term therapy is only for severe psychological disorders—and he doesn't consider depression and anxiety to be severe issues.
In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), members talk about going for a geographical fix. What is a geographical fix, you ask? It's the idea that if you're miserable in NYC, you can fix your life by moving to San Francisco or some other place. Or if you're unhappy in your relationship with John or Johanna, you need only dump them and go for Bob or Roberta and you'll be happy. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't look at your surroundings or consider your choice of partner, but experience shows that you will bring yourself to that new city or relationship.
Writer Aaron Sorkin and HBO have given us "The Newsroom," a terrific new show with plenty of material to write about, in this case, the fear of being direct. In the first season of "The Newsroom," anchor Will McAvoy and executive producer MacKenzie McHale work their way from a very contentious professional relationship, due to their past romantic involvement, to a highly successful professional relationship in making a well-respected, hard-hitting newscast.
I winced a couple of times while watching The Guilt Trip when I heard Joyce Brewster, the endearing yet nagging mom, say word for word some of the things I have said to my own, grown sons.