There's an old question that asks if it is really possible for a man and a woman to be friends and remain friendly without becoming romantically involved. In modern times this question was the basis for a classic romantic comedy film released in 1989 - When Harry Met Sally - but it didn't start there, of course.
Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night full of doubt and fear? Doubts can be insidious, especially in the early morning hours. During the day you may be feeling really positive about your future and having the marriage of your dreams, but then you find yourself awake at 3:00 AM and your thoughts about the future suddenly seem scary and overwhelming.
Dear Dr. Romance: I have been married for 17 years and thought we had a great marriage. 10 years ago I got hurt and have had 6 back surgeries. At one point I would double up on meds and drink to ignore life. During this time my husband was an angel; until he discovered I was taking more meds and drinking. He was so repulsed that i was doing this to our family. He would talk to his friend (a girl) and began to have some feelings.
In the same drunken, crazed and brazen spirit with which our nation's forefathers declared our independence from the monarchy so many hundred years ago I propose that the following holiday be added to your calendar immediately. July 5th is Sexual Independence Day!
These words, this belief, are the biggest relationship buster I hear in my office. If a wife cheats, if a husband is cross-dressing, if a child is using drugs – those who are affected by someone else’s behavior personalize it. They believe that the other person is doing something to harm them, to piss them off, or to otherwise inconvenience them. There is the expectation, unrealistic as it may be, that “If you love me, you will (or won’t) do …………”
Lets have a closer look at how your attitude can affect your romantic vacation.
I love the song Firework by Katy Perry. I especially like this phrase: "You don't have to feel like a wasted space You're original, cannot be replaced If you only knew what the future holds After a hurricane comes a rainbow"
One of the central pillars of Alanon is the belief that you are powerless over the drinker. For many who join Alanon this comes as a relief, as they are told – “you didn't cause it, can't cure it, and can't control it”. Anything that removes the guilt and shame that people living with an alcoholic feels is a good thing in our book.