This article was originally written and featured at MUSED Magazine Online. Why are you single? A simple but effective question that all singles ask when they jump into the dating process. As Chicago’s resident gay matchmaker, I make it point to ask all of my clients why they feel that they are single, because it gives me an idea as to whether or not they are even ready to pursue a relationship.
When we get upset or frustrated with our husbands or significant other, everything negative seems to be exaggerated. It is like looking in a mirror as a teenager. Every pimple shows and we are sure our complexion is ruined forever. Of course it wasn't and probably a little over the counter medicine from the drugstore helped when we were kids. But the same thing happens as we face the realities of our day to day relationship. Everything that isn't all sweetness and roses can appear terrible.
There are assumptions made about porn stars being avid drug users, having poor self-image and low self-esteem. On the contrary, a recent study proves otherwise.
So many kind and thoughtful parents are trying so hard to simply have a lovingly positive impact on their child, only to see the child slip further and further into the realm of being “challenging.” This is so prevalent, even among the best and brightest parents. Difficult child behavior comprises a quiet epidemic – the kind that brings so many to their knees.
If you've been single for a while, you have likely spent many "silent nights" alone in your bed. I'm not talking about the Christmas carol, I'm talking about living single, which can be wonderful, unless you are really wishing for something more.
(If video doesn't load, click here.) Kindness is the lubrication for life, love and relationships. When you spread kindness, it comes back in many ways, and it’s the foundation of happiness. "Dr. Romance" shows how kindness works and why it’s important to learn to live kindly, even in today’s cynical age. Dr. Romance on spreading kindness
With the recent tragedy of Kansas City Chiefs' Jovan Belcher and Kasandra Perkins' murder-suicide, the spotlight has been shone on domestic violence in the NFL. There is a lot of talk about head injuries and concussions playing an important role and I hope that avenue is pursued. However, there is also a possible psychological explanation worth exploring.
For single people the holiday season can become a bit stressful. Wanting to spend this time of the year in a relationship and not alone. People begin to get the per-holiday jitters, not wanting to be alone another year, dreading family dinners with yet another comment as to "when you are going to find someone and settle down". This is in fact one of the worst times to get into a relationship because most people find themselves settling for someone to be with just so they don’t have to be alone.
I know it may seem difficult to focus on the positive when you're in the midst of a painful divorce or breakup, but this is exactly the right time to start.