Just as you can't judge a film by one scene, you can't judge a person by one hurtful thing he does.
Perhaps we've all had an intimate partner who has said or done things to us that seem simply unforgivable. Can you remember a circumstance where you spoke hurtful or hateful words, and later recognized that you did not really mean them? The context of your life affected the content of what you said. Maybe you were tired, afraid, angry, stressed, or feeling hurt. In that moment you just had to defend yourself, get some space, work through anxiety, or vent some frustration.
Brains are wired for both intimacy and self-protection, and sometimes that creates a vicious cycle.
It doesn't seem to make sense: You used to be best friends, but now you can't go a day without fighting. Your partner says something that triggers you - you feel attacked or devalued - and you react: Maybe you yell, slam the door and walk out, or you shut down and refuse to continue the conversation. Looking back, it may be hard to tell how you even got into the argument in the first place. It might have been something very subtle that made you see red: a smirk, rolled eyes, a certain body posture, or tone of voice.
Divorce is never easy. Here are some tips to help you through it.
Goin' Through The Big D. That was the title and chorus of a song I loved in high school ... nice country twang, good lyrics and a toe-tappin' beat made it easy to dance to and listen loud as I drove through my hometown. I thought it was a fun song and a good, lighthearted way to talk about divorce. Of course, that was until I went through 'the big D' myself. Suddenly, it wasn't so funny.
Would you dump a guy if he didn't "match up" to your standards?
One Size Fits All In Italy when you go to buy a belt, it doesn't matter what your size is because every belt is made so that it can be cut down or expanded to "custom fit" whoever is going to wear it. The Italian makers go by the motto 'one size fits all'. If this can work for what goes "on" our bodies... it stands to reason we can employ the same creative motto for what goes "in" our bodies! When it comes to sex and size there is no end to the beliefs and myths that abound.
Are your friends adding fuel to your relationship’s fire?
Are your friends adding fuel to your relationship’s fire? By that I mean, are your friends truly supporting you in your time of need? When your heart hurts, do you have friends that will console you to make you feel as whole as possible? These friends will understand that all of us go through ugly times, but that life ‘s experiences are made to challenge us and grow from.
There's an article in New York Magazine that is causing lots of discussion everywhere. On TV talk shows, the news, Twitter, all over the blogosphere. It's about women over 50 having babies. Not adopting. Giving birth.
My gut reaction was "Ewww. Gross!" But then, when I gave it another thought I realized even my reaction is more complicated than that. Because who has the "right" to be a parent can be a very complicated discussion.
Intellectuals aren't as sexy as jocks, but they should be. A new study links IQ and economics.
When choosing your next romantic partner, forget about rippling muscles and an outdoorsy tan. Do something really patriotic: pick an intellectual nerd! A new set of findings, recently released online in the journal Psychological Science, suggests that intellectuals are good for the economic health of a country.
So here’s something that has nothing to do with relationships or men.
I got a note from a woman who said she’s a Feminist and not interested in what I teach about how to have a deeply loving relationship with a good man. But she was searching for help in the relationship arena, which tells me it’s not going the way she’d like. Duh! What this kind of woman doesn’t realize is that she’s sacrificing having a good relationship so she can be ‘right.’ That’s because Feminism pits women against men, where the women are trying to be better ‘men’ than the men. That doesn’t work for most men.
Before you can find a man to love & appreciate YOU, you must first love and appreciate yourself.
This is the first in a series of articles sharing my 5 Keys to Finding Hope and Finding Him. This was the topic of my free telecall this week and of my upcoming 8-part telecourse starting October 17.
A single man I know once said, "If a woman doesn't seem to love herself, why should I love her?"
That makes sense. Keep in mind that:
• The way you treat yourself is how others will treat you.
• What you expect from people is what you will receive.
Compatibility should come before common assets and interests.
Once upon a time, I received a phone call from an entrepreneur who told me that she was going to build the best online dating site ever: Fuego Connect. The problem with dating sites, she said, was that you have to sift through so many people who are nothing like you. Wouldn't it be great to have a website where everyone on the site shared your same passions?
