By Sheila Blagg for GalTime.com The kids-or-no-kids debate is an issue for many couples. But, bring a child into a new dating relationship and the issue becomes even more complex. As people move from one relationship into the dating realm, they often wonder, “Does he want kids?,” Will she still want to date me?”
It is interesting how one can use words but never realize their meaning. Having just celebrated our Independence Day, I wondered about the word independence. What does it really mean? I’ve been told all my life that I’m “independent.” It seemed like the context of it was helpful when I was a child because I wanted to be able to do things for myself. Our first experiences of our ability to master our environment, begins when we can say, “Mommy I do peeped all by myself,” then run to show what we did and where we did it.
This newsletter is a continuation of my last message in which I am attempting to “upgrade” your understanding of the issue of Bullying. To better understand bullying, let’s define it. How we define bullying has an enormous impact on whether we see it as “kids will be kids,” a “rite of passage,” or a reflection of a less humane and violent culture that we have created.
At the recent workshop on Parenting Skills “Upgrade” we discussed how life has changed and how things are more stressful for all of us including children. A common theme I’m beginning to see is the need for us to upgrade our understanding of how stress takes us out of relationship with ourselves and others. How the traumatizers not only traumatize others but themselves. We have gotten into negative neurophysiological feedback loops within ourselves and each other.
I see abuse on a continuum from yelling at children who are doing developmentally appropriate child behaviors, calling someone names or making fun of their differences, kicking the dog or using your child as a punching bag because you had a stressful day at work, to road rage because someone cut you off in traffic and you took it as some personal affront to you, getting impatient with a loved one because they haven’t met your expectations, etc. You get the picture.
By Presidential proclamation in 1983 April was declared Child Abuse Prevention month. It is a time to reflect and take action to prevent this ever-growing issue impacting our society. The 2011 publication Child Maltreatment reported in the 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico, approximately 676,596 children experienced child abuse and another 1,545 children died as a result of neglect or abuse. In the State of Texas in 2011 there were 65,948 confirmed cases of child abuse and neglect (Texas Department of Family and Protective Services Data Book 2011).
To spank or not to spank continues to be a controversial issue. Many believe that the lack of “spare the rod, spoil the child” is the reason children are running amok in our world today. I grew up with and understand their beliefs. Like so many other people who got spankings I grew up to be a competent, responsible adult, which is part of the rationale for believing that spankings work. Yet, the down side of the ‘spankings’ many receive is that they learn to fear authority and fear their own decisions and abilities.
Falling in love is not just about romantic or sexual feelings for another person; it happens in many different ways with all sorts of people, ideas and concepts. Read on to start feeling the love.
As we get older, it's easy to convince ourselves that an active, engaged sex life is just for the young. That's just not the case: here, six myths about sex after 50 that just won't die.