Are you and your partner expecting for the first time and you can’t seem to get along? Does he blame it on the hormones and does it drive you crazy? Let’s face it, having a baby can be exciting and joyous, but is also quite stressful. If tension is running high in your home and you are pregnant and fighting, here’s what to do: Get a grip on your relationship If you don’t, things are going to get a whole lot worse.
This is a bit of a dicey question, as the differences between two psychotherapists (which we will also call “therapists” in this post) or two coaches may be greater than the difference between a coach and a therapist, depending on who they are. Hopefully no two coaches or therapists are alike, and if they are, they just may be robots. It’s hard to make gross generalizations, and there is a great deal of overlap between therapy and coaching. That being said, coaching is not therapy, and it is important to make that distinction.
You and your partner have been through difficult times. Perhaps at one point you were on the verge of a break. But you hunkered down and made improvements to your relationship, and life suddenly got lighter and easier. Sweet relief. You likely enjoyed a period of time in which things seemed to be going better, you felt closer, and you could be more authentically yourselves with each other. Then you went backwards, and it feels like you went back to square one.
To be able to completely connect to another is perhaps the most fulfilling thing we can do as humans. We begin life connected and if we’re lucky, we end it that way too. To fully connect to a partner, however, is no easy feat. We see staggering divorce rates and an epidemic of depression and anxiety as a result of this loss of connection. There are several reasons why it can be so hard to connect.
Do you have a passionate hobby or something of the sort that your partner just can’t seem to get behind you on? passionate hobby Whether it’s your career, a hobby, or a friend that you just plain adore, your partner might loathe something that is close to your heart. Gentlemen, perhaps football? Why do you think this is?
Today we’ll be discussing independence and your relationship, and how the 4th of July and what it represents probably has a greater influence on your relationship than you may realize. First off, Happy 4th of July. It’s officially summer and this year it’s an extra long weekend for many of us (a whole week off for me). I’m delighted. I love this holiday. I love the summer, fireworks are awesome, I’m glad to be in this country, and it’s generally a great day.
It serves an evolutionary purpose to help us survive by maintaining a certain level of cooperation among humans, but if it goes unchecked, it can be a relationship poison. What am I talking about? Shame. You know the feeling. Let’s do a little exercise in case you don’t. (because there’s nothing quite like getting in touch with shame) Stand up, point your toes inward, slouch down and bow your head. Cave in. Ugh. Shame. It feels… Terrible.
In this video, Anthony Robbins discusses with Oprah 4 different levels of ways to love. We can all be lovers at each level at different times, but the question he asks is: Where is your center of gravity? The four levels of love are as follows: 1.) Baby Love A.K.A. “I’ll love you if you give me what I want/need.” (And if you don’t, I’ll scream and make your life a living hell.) 2.) Horse-Trading Love
Personal disclosure: I started doing family and couples therapy during my training years in graduate school. I tried my best with some tools in hand and books read, but I really didn’t know what I was doing. Most of us start here and some of us stay here. There are so many brilliant therapists out there, but there are also tons of quacks out there, so be careful when you’re looking for a therapist. I have heard countless horror stories!
Do you ever find yourself getting in the same silly fights with your partner over and over again? Whether it’s taking the trash out, doing the laundry in a particular way or washing the dishes, is it always something? Does your blood boil with rage when your partner screws up again? Do you feel like you can’t agree on anything, even the small stuff? Well, my dear, it may not actually be about washing the dishes or the other small stuff. In fact, if it causes that much grief, I’ll bet it’s not.