Articles by our experts in love, dating, sex and marriage

This Year- Don't Be a Talent Miser!

My son and daughter really enjoy this holiday season of Christmas cartoons, music, and activities. One of my son’s favorite shows this holiday was The Misery Brother’s Christmas. While Heat Miser is trying o controls the warm weather and melt everything he touches, his brother, Cold Miser is trying to control the cold weather and tries to freeze everything he touches. The whole show is about how they argue and fight for control of each other, trying to outdo one another. In the end, when they finally work together, they not only appreciate each other, but they end up saving Christmas. It’s a little funny but this cartoon reminded me of an old fable I once heard about a miser. It goes something like this;

Therapy Support Groups - Orinda, CA

Therapy Support Group Mondays 10:30 am - Noon An interactive and supportive group of peers learning and practicing self-affirming behavior, developing self-awareness, gaining the understanding of basic principles, challenges and pitfalls and practicing communication skills that make creating healthy, intimate relationships possible. Recovery Support Group Thursdays 7 - 8:30 pm For those seeking recovery from substance abuse, compulsive gambling, porn, sex and love addictions, or co-dependency. An interactive and supportive group of peers learning coping skills, distinguishing between addiction and recovery and, developing the relationship with oneself. 4 month commitment expected. Pre-screening required - (415) 456-0802

"No Intimate Relationships During the First Year of Sobriety!"

Recovering addicts hear this all the time in 12-step programs. However, this sound bit of wisdom is rarely heeded. Many have a hard time accepting that a hiatus from intimate relationships is necessary. In their minds, dating and new relationships seem benign. As long as I'm not using and we're not using and are in a program, I'm safe. Not so fast. Getting into an intimate relationship prematurely is, as my mother would say, "Ill-conceived, ill-advised and ill-consummated." Odds are more than fifty percent of marriages will end in divorce for the general population. Want to venture a guess as to the odds for those in early recovery who test this cardinal rule Despite one's best laid plans or intentions to not re-enact the same dysfunction and failures of previous relationships, the odds are overwhelmingly against the relationship -- doomed to be dysfunctional or have a shortened life expectancy.

The Relationship Model of Addiction

In inherent limitation of the medical model is ignoring the fact that a pathological dependence implies that a relationship, one that is emotional and psychological in nature, has formed with the substance or activity (i.e. alcohol/drugs, gambling, porn, sex and love addictions). By neglecting essential emotional aspects there is an implied presumption that addiction is primarily, if not, solely a medical condition and can be fined only terms that are observable, objective and measurable, i.e. behavioral, bodily or physiological. The emotional, psychological and relationship aspects are invisible and subjective in nature, therefore considered to be invalid, barely worth considering. It appears that physical pain takes precedence over emotional pain as well.

Is Infidelity on the Rise?

Psychoedcuation News 2009 Is Infidelity on the Rise? I am seeing more couples in my office who are wounded by infidelity. Our political representatives have been forced to admit to their affairs. And now Tiger Woods is in the news for infidelity issues. It is unclear what is true. The media will hound him until he makes a statement. A proper assessment is needed to determine whether it is a sexual addiction - which is an impulsive act and total loss of control and the inability to stop even though it goes against ones own values. Once his therapist makes a diagnosis they will start on a treatment plan. A sexual addiction is very different than a one time affair and the recovery process is different. At any rate, I wish Tiger Woods and his family well.

The Dark Night of the Soul

We've just pasted the Solstice; the longest night of the year. Many people, me included, experience an inner darkness during this time of year. We want to turn inward, and can use this time for reflection or self flagellation. We all have these times of darkness. When it’s very intense, it’s called the “dark night of the soul.” We question ourselves, our motives, our goals and intentions, and our relationships.

Being Authentic in Relationships

The feminist movement has dramatically changed the lives of women in America. Without getting into the history of it, I wanted to explore where it’s led us, and where we can go from here. Relationships between men and women have changed dramatically.

The Backlash of Feminism

I’ve noticed an alarming tendency with American women in romantic relationships. It’s the tendency to engage in male-bashing and to disempower the men in their lives. I blame the feminist movement for this male-bashing