It’s been six weeks since I had my newest son, Evan, and it’s time to resume sexual relations. After having my first son, Andrew (who’s now 26 months), trying to get sex back on track was, at times, a complete gong show. With that in mind this time around, I’ve decided to make sex after this baby a project. For the next six months—November 23 to May 30th—I will (attempt) to have sex with my husband at least once a week.
Typically I write about what happens on the wedding day, but I couldn’t simply stick to the day when the rest of your lives are at stake. Granted, you cannot guarantee that you will live happily ever after and be in love with your spouse until the end of time, but by following a few simple principles, you can get closer then you might think. The truth of the matter is that monogamy is unnatural. Being in a committed loving relationship takes a conscious choice every day to making yourself and your partner as happy as possible. If you can spend all that energy on your job and your wedding, take just 10% of that time and energy and commit to some core values together so you can admire and respect each other through whatever obstacles come your way.
So, we could only talk about all the great things that come along with your wedding, or we can be realistic and prepare you with what you really need to make your marriage last… yep, we could be Pollyanna’s and walk around with rose colored glasses, but the chances that we will fall victim to the almost %60 of couples who get divorced would be way too high if we did that… Let’s be different! Let’s be part of the new generation who is actually realistic about our marriage and up for the challenge to do what it takes to make our marriage one that we can be proud of and truly enjoy. Throughout my career as a therapist and marriage planner, I have had the honor of stepping into people’s relationships and helping them to connect some dots that had been left out after the marriage. I have seen the ups and downs rights and lefts and everything in between.
I just did a quick search on Google’s Keyword Tool. This is a nifty tool to use when you are considering using Google Adwords to promote your website. You type in a word or phrase and Google tells you how many people are using those words in online searches for information on that topic. In my search for search terms people use to find help in and around the internet, I discovered a HUGE discrepancy between the numbers of people looking for specific therapy/therapists and the number of therapists looking for information on how to build a web site. Check out the numbers below. These reflect the actual numbers of a local search by these words or phrases in November 2009. “Local” means the United States. Search word phrase Number of searches Therapy website 2400 Counseling websites 1000 Psychologist website 720 Websites for therapists 210 Website for counselors 58 Now for those looking for therapy information online: Search word phrase Number of searches
Asking for help is hard. There is still stigma associated with asking for and receiving mental health care. Sure, people are more open about it, but for those who suffer from long-standing, chronic mental illness the stigma is there. Our clients allow us to make a living. They trust us implicitly with their hidden selves, secrets they are too afraid to admit to others in the world. Here are 10 things they wish you knew. If you build a practice to address these 10 points, what a powerful, client attractive practice you would have! 1. It is hard for me to call for my first appointment and I really need help right now. 2. I want someone to listen to my story and reassure me that I am not crazy. 3. It takes considerable effort for me to make time to get to your office and attend therapy. I may need to take a day off from work, find a babysitter or leave my kids with a relative.
Week #1: Six Month Sex Challenge--Making time for sex a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.The week flew by in a flash of toilet training, work and domestic ‘bliss’. I wasn’t too concerned. With my first son, making time on weekends was pretty easy and so Saturday became ‘the day’ to have sex. I was, admittedly, a wee bit smug that everything was going to plan. And then all hell broke lose…
Want True Love? Don’t Miss These Life-Changing Events Valentines Week in NYC!! I am so excited about the Feb launch of the paperback version of Love in 90 Days with a brand new chapter on Dating Games Men Play that I have arranged for three dynamite singles events in NYC that can totally transform your dating and love life!!!! Register, mark your calendar and come join me!!! **** HOW TO GET MARRIED –the NYC Learning Annex course Feb 8!!! Use coupon code: MARRIAGE -TO GET $10 OFF! CLICK HERE TO REGISTER: http://www.learningannex.com/live_classes/94 Have you suffered from the anxiety of being in a relationship for months or years, wondering if there will ever be a ring on your finger? Were you afraid to have “the talk”
The Single Most Important Thing You Can Do to Win the Committed Lasting Love of the One You Really Want
Perhaps you’ve met the One only to see him or her come on like crazy, but then pull back for no apparent reason. So all of a sudden, everything becomes murky and uncertain in terms of your relationship. Are you a couple or not? Has your partner met someone else? Why are they running hot and cold? Do you have a future together? Should you have “the talk” about where things stand? Maybe you blurted out something about the future only to find your heart sinking as your Beloved pulled away and actually left you. And you wonder, Is it me? Is it my partner? Will I ever have a committed, solid and lasting relationship? Maybe you are in a long term on-again, off-again relationship where one or the other of you periodically withdraws or sees other people. Have you ever been involved and in love with someone for months, or even years, only to find that they simply cannot or will not take that next step into living together or marriage?
Him: Slaps alarm off. Pulls covers over head. Groans. Gets up. Is cranky all day. You: Chirpy. Cheery. Up happy. Good mood tanked by his grumpiness. Which you then take out on him by nagging at him, bugging him for this or that, finding him irritating, and both of you having a miserable day as a result. You then conclude that your relationship is deteriorating and rapidly going downhill. Not likely. He got up on the wrong side of the bed. That’s all. We all do it from time to time, only here, your mutual timing is awful – you’re way up, he’s way down. So it feels worse. But what you feel isn’t necessarily real . . . So forgive him! Figure he’s just having a grump day, and go about your happy day on your own. You’ll find your together good-place again soon enough. More at www.yourmaniswonderful.com/blog
It’s often been said you have to love what you do in order to be happily successful, but that's not necessarily true. What is true is that you have to love the chance, the opportunity. The chance and circumstance you’ve encountered with which to build a life, a future, your health, success and a fortune. Knocking on someone's door, making those phone calls or attending meetings may not be something you love to do, yet, but you’ve got to love the possibilities that exist beyond, and because of, the effort.