Many of us imagine that cheating is only reserved for men. Even among liberal thinking men and women, many of us still hold that image in our minds. So when a woman is the cheater, we tend to have less tolerance than we do for men. But a very conservative statistic estimates that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair at some time.
Have you ever looked back over your past relationships and said to yourself "What the hell was I thinking?" As you honestly reflect on your past, you will see that the red flags were waving all around you. There was a chance you may not have picked up on them because you were blinded by what you thought was love. But if you get real with yourself, you will see that the red flags were there, waving right in front of your eyes, almost from the very beginning. But you chose to ignore them.
If you are married, you may have experienced a significant letdown after the wedding festivities were over. In my practice, couples often report that the day after the wedding they get into a big fight, and the honeymoon is suddenly ruined. Some say they never really recover from the blow out. In the rush of getting married, many of us forget to reflect on our internalized messages about marriage. These messages are unseen ‘ghosts’ who say, "I do" along with you.
Maturity can be a good thing, especially when it comes to fine wine, aged cheese or ripe, delicious fruit. But as a state of mind, maturity can sometimes be prudish, lifeless and boring – exactly the reason why Peter Pan never wanted to grow up. “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw
In light of the devastating events that allegedly took place at Penn State and Syracuse Universities, we now see fresh evidence of horrific child sexual abuse that continues to be all too prevalent in our society. How many children have been violated and are living with horrible emotions, too frightened to come forward? Although it is impossible to put a cocoon around your children, there are many measures that you can put to use, which will mitigate the danger.
In the world of psychology, resilience, or the ability to bounce back from adversity, is an important aspect of emotional stability. Generally, it seems that when we are young, a strong sense of self, held by protections in our environment, helps us to develop a sense of resiliency later in life. That is, some children have the good fortune of strong role models who are able to project a sense of well-being for the children, despite adversity.
The loneliest feeling does not come from being single. It is being married or living with someone, but feeling alone. This happens when one of the partners checks out or leaves the relationship emotionally but eats there, does their laundry there and sleeps there. For all other purposes though, you are without a partner. This happens to couples who live together as well as couples who date and marry. That means, many couples live with someone, but are alone. Many times a crisis of some type precipitates one of the partners leaving emotionally, but sometimes it just happens.
Do you listen? Do you hear the whisper? A sense. A knowing. A quiet nudge. In your heart. In your belly. In your bones. The whisper speaks. It’s different for every woman. Do you listen? It’s always there. Guiding you. It’s always there. Leading you. It’s always there. Do you listen?
This one's for a guy's eyes, but women, you're more than welcome to be a fly on the wall. It is perhaps a good spot to inhabit while taking a fresh look at the confusing, confronting topic of men and their porn habits!
In my last blog I wrote about love that can be expressed, sometimes for the first time, from a dying parent. Now I am going to focus on the result when rage, disappointment, and hate are expressed from the grave. I urge readers who are estranged from, frustrated by, and at continual odds with, their adult sons and daughters to read what I am about to say with an open mind.