It’s pouring rain today, and our Internet is down – again. It doesn’t like changes in weather. But when I saw the telltale extra red light on the modem (3 red lights is a good sign, but 4 is a very, very bad sign) I felt happy instead of crushed – because finally, after 3+ months of constant outages, I actually ordered a backup internet service which got installed yesterday. I couldn’t get over my own wisdom and good fortune! I gloated! I basked in gratitude!
It all started out so wonderfully, as many lesbian love stories do. Mary was smart, cute, insightful and interesting, and we connected on many levels. We first met while working on a feminist newspaper together, and although we came from different class backgrounds, I could understand the ways she’d been wounded as a child. We were co-activists, engaged in many of the same activities. She introduced me to a beautiful pond nearby, and I could see how nature fed her, as it fed me.
When Michelle and I first started thinking about offering relationship tools to lesbians & queer women, we did a search to see who else was doing that kind of thing. And we found absolutely nothing. Well, that’s not completely true. Let’s say, almost nothing.
This astonishingly powerful guest post comes to us from Nicole Ditz (www.holisticdepththerapy.com), who sent it in response to my invitation for readers to send their worst breakup stories. When I asked if we could publish it, anonymously or with attribution, Nicole wrote back, “Ruth, please do post it with my full name and web link. I am no longer ashamed of my history, my struggles, or my vulnerabilities. I have earned my substantiality as a woman the hard way. Please send me the link. I want to see my truths look me in the eyes!”
This is a guest post in response to our call for "worst breakup" stories. This writer chose to remain anonymous – talks about loving a woman named Jane, and loving herself after the breakup.
This guest post by “Ellen” (not her real name) shares the story of a young woman’s first devastating breakup – and how and what she learned from it. We’re still accepting stories, so if you have a “worst breakup” story too, please send it along!
Many people have no idea they inspire others. Some people even take their own lives without knowing they inspired someone to have courage during a desperate time or fall in love when they were afraid of being hurt or follow their dream even when everyone said it would never come true. What if you were inspired by them and didn’t say anything until you spoke at their funeral? What if they’d known before? Could it have made a difference?
Letting go is simply making a choice: to no longer allow the beliefs and attitudes that prevent us from experiencing the joy of the moment, to continue to have their grip on our feelings and behaviours and to imprison our thoughts. So, let's take a walk, you and I along this path.
Albert Einstein said: “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” But he goes on to say, “For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create.” When you look up caterpillar in the dictionary or encyclopaedia, we find it described in terms of the butterfly; what it WILL BE.
We don't always like every little thing about ourselves. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this. If you're trying to tackle personal issues that you may with yourself, the best thing to do is...to spend time with yourself in a deeper way. You may meet the true you. It's worth it.