Depression sucks. Sorry to be so honest, but I'm a therapist and that's my job. When you're depressed, nothing sounds good, your body aches like you have the flu, you feel like the most worthless human being on the planet, and you just can't stop crying. If you are depressed, you might be suffering from some or all of the following symptoms: loneliness, paralyzing fear, racing heart and thoughts, achy body, headaches, stomach aches, insomnia, sleeping all day, annoying your friends and family with your negative view of the world, or being consistently angry with yourself for feeling stuck in a dark hole. Oh, and also being a lousy partner in a relationship.
Depression. Just the word itself is depressing, and it carries all manner of stigma from Debbie Downer to nervous breakdown. Who wants to be depressed? More to the point, who wants to be labeled as depressed? The answer to both of these questions is obvious to most, yet so many people are in denial about the magnitude and implications of their depression.
Divorce is said to be one of the most profoundly painful experiences that a human being can survive. It's often tied to a profound fear that the pain will never end. It's been compared to the stages of death because the experience is often one of not only losing your marriage, but also, yourself. It reaches out and changes not only the couple, but also the children, family, friends, business associates, and overall community that make up the interwoven support system of the couple. As a marriage and family therapist and a divorce survivor, this article comes from firsthand personal and professional experience with divorce recovery.
Relationships are kind of like therapy—they bring all your dirt to the surface so you can work through it and move beyond it. This makes perfect sense because relationships and therapy have the same purpose: growth. Therapy is especially hard in the beginning because you’re becoming aware of all the dirt you’ve been hiding under the surface for so long. Therapy doesn’t create the dirt, it just shines a spotlight on it.
As parents, we must engage in many unpleasant and difficult situations. It's the tough talks that our children remember. Explaining death is one of those topics. Our kids are exposed to death each day. Listen to the new, or watch cartoons in the morning and you will find yourself astonished by all the violence and references to death. Our children have become somewhat desensitized by death until it happens to a pet, a family member or a national crisis such as what happened ten years ago on September 11.
Parental Panic: How to Manage When the Script’s Been Flipped You pride yourself on your parenting skills. You have studied well and followed all the basics. Your amazing kids are living proof that all your hard work has paid off. When you are not in the role of ‘Parent Extraordinaire’ you love to hang out with your friends and, well, have a little fun. And okay, maybe once in a blue moon you may over do it just a tad, but it is not like you make it a habit. Nothing wrong with that, right?
I frequently get the question, "Can I practice Tantra if I don't have a partner?" The answer is an emphatic "Yes!" It's true that there's nothing quite like dancing in ecstasy with one you love but not having a partner, or not having a willing partner, doesn't mean you can't live a passionate life. In fact, a partner can even be a distraction from taking responsibility for your own turn-on and taking an unflinching look at your own sensual health.
As every busy woman knows, the day can seem never-ending. Between spending hours at the office, taking care of the house, getting your kids situated (if you have them), and working out something for dinner… hopping into bed at the end of the day only means one thing… SLEEP. Is your hectic lifestyle taking a toll on the level of intimacy you share with your partner? Are you spending less time together, cuddling less, and in effect, feeling kind of distant from each other?
Here's a scene from Seinfeld, the '90s' hilarious take on everyday minutae: Jerry: "You faked it?" Elaine: "I faked it." Jerry: "That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?" Elaine: "Not bad, huh?" Jerry: "What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?" Elaine: "Fake, fake, fake, fake."
You are giving people the silent treatment when you shut down to them, closing your heart and refusing to interact with them or acknowledge their presence. You act as if they are invisible, not responding to them at all or giving them a very minimal and withheld response. Your hope in treating them this way is that they will get the message that they have displeased you. They have done something wrong in your eyes and deserve to be punished, deserve to have your "love" taken away.