Jessica was attending her first five-day Inner Bonding Intensive because she could not seem to commit to a relationship. She wanted to be married and have a family, and she had no trouble meeting men, but as soon as she started to really like someone, she would find any number of reasons to back out. In her late 30’s, her biological clock was ticking, but couldn't seem to break out of the pattern.
Neil Sedaka had it right. Breaking up IS hard to do. But WHY is it so hard? Because we are sentimental beings, desiring of connection. Because we’ve been told that ‘partnering’ is the path to happiness. Because it just feels good to have your best pal around and because there is no rule book or magic pill for getting rid of the longing. When going through a break up, we are in fact, experiencing a death. While it may just be emotional, it carries all of the hallmarks of a physical passing.
Have you ever heard of 'bibliotherapy?' I've been a practitioner for years, but I never heard this fancy word until recently. Bibliotherapy is an academic term used to describe the amazingly beneficial (and very delightful!) mind/body reactions that occur from reading erotic romantic literature. In fact, sex therapists are advising their female patients to get busy and start reading erotic romance! Yay!
Do you obsess over his life and spend no time living your own? You could be suffering from Post Romantic Stress Disorder (P.R.S.D.) If you struggle to move on, even though you know there is no way you would ever go back to him, there is a way out. But first, here are some signs that P.R.S.D. is running the show in your mind and heart. 1. Keeping his number in your cell phone, “just in case.”
Super Bowl Sunday doesn't have to drive a wedge between family members. In fact, it's actually a great opportunity to bring your family unit closer together and maybe even create a spark in your relationship.
“Love does not obey our expectations, it obeys our intentions.” The ancient Chinese and Greeks debated it, and now modern science is attempting to prove it. The road is smoother when paved with good intentions. Food tastes better, boo-boos hurt less and pleasure is heightened when we know someone cares. In other words, you have to mean it.
Can you visualize your post-divorce self as a blooming flower opening, thriving, growing, and maturing? The visual that you have of your “post-divorce self” may play a large role in how you recover from the stress after going through a divorce. Studies have found that there are individual differences between people who “blossom” after a divorce and those who experience depressive symptoms and psychological distress.
A woman wrote to me today asking for some guidance. She said she was having difficulty moving on after breaking up with her boyfriend, even though the relationship wasn't working.
WHY is it that the old flame always looks more appealing after we leave? Why can’t we just get over him and move on? Oversimplifying the idea of leaving and underestimating the “recovery” time it takes is what sets us up for a likely return~that is, a failed breakup. By expecting that all we have to do is give it time, start a new routine, or get a hobby, we automatically end up feeling lonely because those fillers don’t address the bigger issue.
“I remember picking myself up off the floor....I could taste the blood running into my mouth....I’d never been hit before--I was shocked, humiliated and very scared.” So many years ago and yet even now, it chills me to read those words. You might think that it chills me because being assaulted so violently forever marked my soul, but you would be wrong. What chills me is that I was so deaf and blind to my own guidance and found myself within 100 miles of such violence.