It is that time of year once again. The wonderful, busy, stressful, joyous, lonely and fun time all bunched up into a few weeks time. It is a time of year when our focus turns to home and hearth and sometimes with that focus, we become keenly aware of a relationship that is not working for us. It might be one in which we have not been happy for a long time or it could be something new has developed that we hadn’t noticed until now.
You don't have to be Scrooge to hate Christmas. In "A Christmas Carol" we learn that Ebenezer Scrooge used to be a nice boy who became bitter through parental neglect and brittle by his emotional dependence on his sister, who abandoned him by dying. Poor guy. He was the sad product of a dysfunctional family.
You may think you deserve Santa's favor this year for being a good girl, but if you've dated men that treated you badly or you're presently involved with one, to the contrary of what you believe, you've been naughty and not nice. If you're not attracted to or dating nice guys, it means there's a part of you that's naughty -- a part that wants to create drama and suffering in your life. I know that sounds harsh but in truth the men you get involved with will always be a reflection of you -- you're the one that chooses to be with them.
I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them - it was that promise.-Thornton Wilder
I hate rules. I hate telling women to follow them. I like offering mindful 'dos' and 'don'ts' that women can use as guidelines to make sure they are on track with acting like one half of a considerate, respectful, loving, and caring whole. Rules, on the other hand, seem stifling and repressing to a woman’s individuality. I think, however, that the following rule is very empowering and actually helps relieve women of stifling insecurities and releases repressed sexual urges. So I will allow myself to suggest it. Here it is:
Whether your summer breakup still stings, your fall heartbreak feels fresh, or your holiday heartache has yet to happen, one thing’s for sure. The holiday season is here and dealing with a broken heart can be especially tough during these “feel good” months. After all, there are holiday gatherings to attend, mistletoe to stand under (GASP – alone!), and happy couples cozying up to one another wherever you turn.
One method of dealing with stress is learning how to recognize and talk back to that internal critic you have in your head. Write down all the self-critical thoughts going through your mind. Write down why these thoughts are incorrect. Then, practice talking back to them, explaining why they are wrong.