Remember the Serenity Prayer? “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”. What’s difficult about this is that we often believe that certain things shouldn’t be happening in the first place, but as author Shari Barr puts it: “Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge you because you are a vegetarian.” In other words, life is unfair. So for anyone with a strong sense of right and wrong, judgments about the world around us occur almost automatically.
When Zack and Tiffany started counseling with me, they were on the verge of divorce after 16 years of marriage. Neither really wanted to end the marriage, yet both were miserable. Both of them believed that their misery was because of the other person, and both could clearly articulate what the other person was doing wrong.
The Holidays. The perfect time for romance. As a dating coach and matchmaker, I find that it's one of my busiest seasons. There's something about crackling fires and the smell of pine and glitter that seems to trigger the feeling in us that screams for affection and companionship. It reminds us of hearth and home, and gets both sexes warmed right up for more than just a quick fling. This, is why the Christmas season is the perfect time to look for love!
By Straight Male Friend's Marcus Osborne for GalTime.com A while back I participated in a panel discussion in San Francisco called, "What Is He Thinking?" Basically, I and two other guys were panelists volleying and parrying myriad points and opinions regarding matters of the heart. It was standing room only and as is typically the case when people are passionate about their perspectives, things got pretty heated at times.
I was feeling really stressed the other day. But I wasn't sure how stressed until I was walking to the car and noticed the lemon tree and herb garden in the corner of our backyard. The leaves on the tree and plants were withering up and nearly browning on the edges, with weeds of grass sitcking up through the dirt. And that's when I knew: I was buried under. And I needed to readjust the balance of my life—fast. So I did. And I have that lemon tree to thank for it. Why? Because I've come to see our garden as the measuring stick of my happiness.
If you're single and you'd like to be in a relationship, this time of year can be excruciating. There can seem to be countless ads showing happy-in-love couples giving one another romantic gifts: Cars with big red bows parked outside the house. Glittering jewelry. Even those “Forever Lazy” wearable blanket things. In television ads and in the real life examples of people around you, it can appear that everyone else has a partner to exchange gifts with and to share the season with. Except you.
As individuals concerned about quality of life and the environment, I am sure that you frequently consider how the environment affects your well-being. Asking questions about what is being spewed into the air that is breathed, dumped into the water what is drunk, or absorbed into the food that is eaten has become commonplace. What about your social environment? It has just as much of an impact on your life, and in most cases the effects are more readily felt than those of what we consider to be the outside environment.
Ever meet someone who is always chipper, always has a kind word to say, can be sick in bed but still wears a smile. Why? What makes two people look at the same situation and observe two completely different things? Is it perception or something deeper? Individuals who are happy and can always find the positive in a situation are masters of a skill that everyone should learn. They've mastered the art of flipping the switch on their perspective.
Each of us is graced with the most powerful gift. With it, we are able to make people soar out of orbit with happiness, or plummet to the earth with despair if we are careless. What is this almighty gift? It is the gift of words and the ability to communicate. As a society we often forget how powerful our words can be. We are occasionally reckless or too quick to speak, when we should take time to think about the consequences of our words. We are taught from childhood to think before we act, but sometimes neglect to think before we speak!
When Nancy overheard her 5 year old daughter Shelby being asked what she 'wants to be when she grew up' she paused to listen to her daughter's lengthy response. She knew the litany by heart. Shelby wanted to be a rock star, a firefighter, a doctor, a vet, and a writer when she grew up. When the asker responded that she couldn't possibly be all of those things, Nancy laughed. She'd had similar conversations with her daughter and they'd worked it all out. Shelby could be anything she truly desired throughout her life.