Well, it's 2012 and the catch phrase "New Year, New You" is definitely once again well overused and way under committed to. It happens every year: every January everyone sets resolutions, goals, intentions, aspirations, hopes—insert whatever word resonates with you—but it is the unified time in which you and the rest of the world decide to refresh, renew or rewrite themselves.
In the land of the strange but true, as a former Tibetan Buddhist nun I fell in love with and married a man who counsels sex addicts and who is a recovering sex addict himself. Joining him in his counseling practice has allowed me a look into the lives of many people who have struggled with sex and relationship addictions.
Vanessa, 30 years old, is struggling with whether or not to end her six-year marriage. The answer is not at all clear to her. Vanessa and Jon have a "good" marriage. They are kind and caring with each other. They enjoy many of the same things. So why is Vanessa in such turmoil over whether to stay or leave?
Every once in a while, I like to do a quick quasi-experiment with my psychology classes. I hand out slips of paper to everyone in the class. It appears (to the students) that all of these papers are the same, although they in fact are quite different. Half of the class has just received a slip asking them to name the three best events that happened to them over the past week. The other half of the class receives a paper that asks them to list the three worst events that happened to them during the past week.
This guest article from Psych Central was written by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. Money is a point of contention for many couples. It’s notorious for causing conflicts and ruining relationships. The problem? “Money is very central to people’s identity,” according to Jonathan Rich, Ph.D, psychologist and author of The Couple’s Guide to Love & Money.
All toads are frogs but not all frogs are toads. In the online dating world as well in nature, toads are the fat, yucky frogs, but other types of frogs are only green and slimy - sometimes even slim, well-kept, and sort of cute. And in the online dating world as well as in nature, all toads are always gross.
When it comes to getting 'turned-on', men are mostly driven by visual and physical stimulation. For women, sex is much more of a mental and emotional experience. Stress is the most common obstruction in being able to feel optimum sexual pleasure. If your mind is full of distracting thoughts or if you're upset about something, you may be unable to fully experience all of the magnificent sensations your body is capable of. It is imperative to reduce stress, tension and disturbance before embarking on a sexual journey...with or without a partner.
Sex continues to be the news in some surprising and shocking ways. And now it’s being characterized as being potentially addictive. From the reported misdeeds in the sports world, to the political arena, to celebrity disclosures, stories about this seemingly new addiction are popping up regularly. You may have begun to wonder if you or your partner might have a problem. One of the first steps in the investigation is to talk to your partner. But how do you begin the conversation?
Susan is wondering what happened to her sex life. She and her husband were so connected in the beginning of their relationship, but now after a couple of years together they only have sex about once every two months and when they do, she is the initiator. She knew that her husband was spending hours in their basement den at his computer. She even knew he was watching porn and masturbating. She thought that was just something that all guys do.
Living in this constantly changing world can feel like being on a roller coaster ride with no end in sight. Just when you think things are settling down, you round the bend and you’re headed up the ramp for another plunge. The first of the four noble truths of Buddhism is the truth of suffering. As much as we don’t want to suffer, don’t like to suffer, try to keep suffering away, it is unavoidable. With the experience of pain, there is a survival reaction that instantly and instinctively commands fight or flight. We feel angry, we feel afraid, we feel pain.