Once upon a time, I thought time had run out on my chance to get love right. While all my friends were marrying, settling down, and starting families, I was once again staring at the smoldering remains of yet another failed relationship with yet another Mr. Wrong. The perpetual bachelorette in my social circle, I had a job my friends envied, owned my own condo, took amazing vacations, and always had fabulous plans on the weekends. I was even saving money for retirement like a smart, savvy woman should. On paper, my life looked amazing. In reality, I felt like a complete and total failure.
Maybe the path to the best relationship ever is the path from one party to the next.
Why is it you always seem to want what you can’t have? Why do you try to come between your lover and his work when you know you can't win? I'm out walking my dog. He’s doing his sniffing thing, which seems much more important to him than the peeing thing – and there’s a couple arguing. The guy is trying to get into his car. He’s telling the woman he has to go, he has an appointment, and she’s frustrated. She's saying "You always have an appointment," and he’s saying “Look I can’t run a business and hold your hand at the same time.” She retorts with: “You never have time for me, you’re always working.” He’s trying to make nice with her, saying “We’ll take a vacation when I close this deal” and you know that's never gonna happen.
The key ingredient is that you can’t go into a relationship expecting to know a gal’s needs by osmosis, nor can you expect her to know your needs.
Now you can tell your lover, spouse, significant other, or even yourself what you've hoped to hear for years! Not only is sex fun and exciting - it's healthy.
Last week I wrote about speaking authentically. How on earth is a person supposed to remember to speak authentically when they’re in the middle of an argument? Well, that’s the time it’s the most important, so the more you practice when you’re not arguing, the better you’ll be.
Communication is critical to growing and nurturing relationships of all kinds. When we communicate about our feelings, we come from either love or fear. In other words, we communicate either authentically or from a place of vulnerability. Communicating authentically will always improve a relationship, even when what we communicate is not something the other wants to hear.
All of the problems in everyone's lives have been due to the person feeling unloved or unlovable in some way. I know it's a bold statement, but hear me out on this.
Dr. Ava offers guidelines for keeping the spark alive in a relationship to ensure continued monogamy.
How can couples ensure that what they say is interpreted in the way that they mean it? The first step is to identify the common communication mistakes so that we can then try to fix them.