I meet many women who have no issue with setting up and adhering to boundaries in other areas of their life – yet compromise all over the place once in a relationship with a man. So today, we’re going to focus on Boundaries - lesson # 3 in this 5 part series celebrating Valentine’s week. Why do we need boundaries? For one reason, they act like a “fence” protecting our property. When you have healthy boundaries set up that you stick to, it actually gives you more freedom to make better choices in your romantic life.
Here’s the full question that arrived in my inbox: “I came from a background that doesn’t value the gifts that I have developed. How can I learn to value my spiritual, creative and emotional gifts enough to feel that they are worth being paid for? If I don’t value them and see them as marketable, who will?” Great question! Here’s what I say a thousand times to clients: how you vote on your value from one hour to the next is not reliable or even useful.
Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. ~ William Shakespeare First the science of appreciation: John M. Gottman, PhD, the country’s foremost relationship expert, found that what set apart marriages that succeeded (as opposed to the 67% of first marriages that ended in divorce) was a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. He found that even the smallest gestures of appreciation counted—a smile, a pat, a “thank you.” This magic ratio isn’t confined to marriage.
There’s nothing more attractive to what you desire, especially in realms of romance and love, than confidence. And nothing kills your sense of self worth faster than settling for what doesn’t make you happy. There’s a nasty little trend going around the love advice industry, telling women (and men) that they should lower their standards, that they’re kidding themselves to hold out for that special someone they admire, respect, and desire. Can you imagine?
"I am going to be in town for a couple of days and I would love to see you." the familiar voice said hopefully. Instantly I am flooded with emotions both good and bad. We had been broken up for a few months and I had been trying to evict him from my mind ever since. Unbidden, thoughts about him and how hot the sex was, how beautiful I felt when I was with him, how romantic it was to sip wine at sunset, had been running through my mind for weeks. My brief fling with him had been the most fun I'd had in years!
Fear is a powerful force. It can paralyze you, motivate you, or make you question your ability to make wise choices. If you're in a relationship and wondering if its time to get out, how can you decide to leave when you're afraid to do so? I'm all about HOPE. In most cases, there is an endless supply of hope for healing. Whether you're in a relationship that has been filled with joy or filled with pain, hope is there to pull you forward, motivating positive changes and giving you joy. However, sometimes the most healthy thing is to end the relationship.
Once again, February 14th is right around the corner. And this year, for whatever reason, you don't have a Valentine to call your own. You may be single or separated, divorced or widowed. Unfortunately, so many of us who find ourselves in this situation fall into feelings of deep inadequacy and despair. We tell ourselves: "I'm not good enough; something's wrong with me; I'll never find someone." The reasons why we're "alone" don't matter. What matters is learning how to address these feelings so that you embrace Valentine's Day 2012, feeling the fullness of love rather than the black hole of emptiness and lack.
We get it. Breaking up with your ex and moving forward with your love life is easier said than done. That’s why, we are here to tell you how to perform an “ex-orcism” on yourself. Read on and we assure you that you will feel more confident and ready to finally stop obsessing over someone who is holding you back from finding the man you deserve.
She gets to laugh a lot Humor is an emotional balm and a tie that binds She feels physically and financially secure He is faithful and deposits his payroll check gladly She loves to have her husband beside her at church Sharing her faith journey with him brings her peace and comfort She values a strong, calm problem solver She trusts in his sound judgment when the S hits the fan She finds his kitchen apron sexy
Everyday we have opportunities to bring in positive thoughts and messages about ourselves and our lives; We just have to learn how to be conscious and aware of these opportunities. I believe you really are, and always have been "Well Within"; as you learn to access this awareness, you can live more empowered and be fulfilled.