Are you perfect? Do you know anyone who is? Look at the people you know who are in midlife or older: do you know any people who doesn’t have some rough times behind them or are not currently facing life challenges? It’s doubtful—because you are in real life and not the movies! All grownups have some less-than-flattering “stuff.” I received an email recently from Lisa, a woman who, after describing her life situation, asked: “Is there any hope for me?” Ugh. I can’t tell you how sad this makes me feel.
As a psychologist who has treated those suffering from eating disorders for many years, one thing has become very clear...eating disorders are not about food. In my work, I have repeatedly discovered that underneath invasive and negative symptoms related to food and body image is some kind of psychic pain. The psychic pain is vastly different for all individuals and can be related to a myriad of issues: low self esteem, feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, unresolved grief or anger, dissatisfaction in relationships and career...and on and on.
Empty Nesters wondering if they have enough in their marriage to continue or should they give up.
I have clients who date online. Writing the profile is one of the most difficult parts of online dating. How honest can they be? How honest are the people they are trying to attract? One of my clients is the nicest guy; in fact, his inability to assert and defend himself enables others to take advantage of him. His profile looks something like this: “single, 40ish male seeks 40ish single female.” He goes on to say he likes to bike, ski (both on water and snow) and try new restaurants. He wrote that he was a professional, but not addicted to his work.
Parents are often afraid to talk to their kids about sex. Parents are often concerned about saying too much, saying the wrong thing, being inappropriate and/or encouraging sex too early and too soon. Many parents want to protect their children from the ugly world of sex that often accompanies the idea of sex, not realizing that what you don’t talk about at home is getting into your child’s brain through other sources, whether it be via friends and peers at school, or the media. Most parents don’t realize that their silence is communication too.
Parents are often afraid to talk to their kids about sex. Parents are often concerned about saying too much, saying the wrong thing, being inappropriate and/or encouraging sex too early and too soon. Many parents want to protect their children from the ugly world of sex that often accompanies the idea of sex, not realizing that what you don’t talk about at home is getting into your child’s brain through other sources, whether it be via friends and peers at school, or the media.
When I first began promoting my program The Art and Science of Romance, I discovered an audience ready and eager to receive my gospel about the benefits of romance. There seems to be a swelling among women who have found success in the work place to bring back a respect for this human experience that’s been trivialized and corrupted by our much too serious culture!
For most, deciding to separate is no easy feat, especially if children are involved. The process of making this tremendous decision is usually predicated by months or even years of therapy, soul searching, self doubt and anxiety. Typically, this agonizing process of deciding whether to split up takes place in private. Perhaps a few close friends, family members or a therapist know that the couple is struggling. But, for the most part, the couple usually presents to the outside world as if it's all good (or good enough) on the marriage front.
You are not quite sure how you got yourself into the affair, and even less sure about how to get out of it. You love your paramour but hate the sneaking and cheating. You vacillate between ending the forbidden relationship and giving yourself totally to it. You feel intense emotions for your lover, but even as you tell yourself…or your lover…that everything is going to be wonderful, deep within a small voice says that it will not be. When together with your lover, you feel an amazing blending of ecstasy and peace.