What do you do when you get a knot in your stomach in response to someone being subtly inauthentic, angry, judgmental, demanding or needy? You know in your gut that this person wants something from you - you can feel the pull on you - but it is not overt. Another person, even a therapist, looking at the interaction, may not pick up the wounded, pulling energy.
It’s Monday and you’re talking on the phone with a nice guy you’re interested in. After some chit-chat he finally asks you out on a date. It goes something like this: Nice Guy: Do you want to go out for dinner Saturday night? You: Yes, that would be nice. Nice Guy: Okay, I’ll call you later in the week to firm up the plans. I’m looking forward to it. You: Me too. Talk then. [Click.]
Whether it's those lurking peak wedding months or the daily talk of royal nuptials, marriage is a subject we're hearing a lot about lately. Feelings about this trend seem to range from wild enthusiasm to mild resentment. Forgetting for a minute the adversity surrounding the institution of marriage and setting all ceremony aside, stripped down to its barest of bones, marriage is really just a long-
When you work to earn a man’s love– doing things for him (his laundry, cooking him meals, calling him to “help him” with problems, driving him around, etc.) or giving him gifts (money for his bills, letting him live with you free of charge, buying him clothes or expensive trinkets) – you will not make him fall in love with you. Most any couple that has a successful relationship will tell you that KEEPING a relationship takes invested work; however, EARNING the love of a man is not the kind of work you should EVER be invested in.
When your children are small, it is easy to be wrapped up in the joy of being their parent and knowing that you are the center of their world and they are the center of yours. As they become teens, they begin to pull away and seek independence in preparation for heading out on their own. This can leave a parent feeling unwanted, unneeded and without a purpose. Emotions can run high and you could end up feeling alone and falling into the trap of using emotions to tie your children to you even if you know independence is the best thing for them. Here are eight tips to keep in mind as you head into this emotionally taxing time.
People ask me all the time how to have a great relationship, or if I think they are ready. I usually ask them the same two questions: What do you want and what are you willing to do about it? Then I direct them to my Relationship Aptitude Test, or RAT, which helps you smell a rat—or find out if you are one. It's multiple choice. Take your time when completing it.
Romantic Mocha Breakfast Fondue For 2 By Zoe Rogers Traditionally, if a woman seated at the fondue table drops her dipping food into the pot, she has to kiss the man seated nearest to her. If a man drops his…well, if it was cheese fondue, he has to buy the next bottle of wine. But, since this Mocha Fondue takes center stage for breakfast, you and your Fondue partner will have to make your own tradition for what he needs to do!
We all know how to communicate. If I stick my tongue out at someone they will get the gist of what I am communicating to them, however, their response may not be very positive and full clarity in our communication may never happen. To truly communicate in a way that other people can hear without defensiveness or heightened emotion is a skill. Slowing down and thinking about how you are getting your point across to someone while using these skills will help in all areas of your life, be it work, relationships or just trying to get your coffee order across at Starbucks.
Each year when the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is released I hear about it. Not because I'm a big fan of swimsuits, or super models, or even of sports for that matter, but because my therapist husband (as a recovering sex addict) specializes in helping men whose sexual behaviors have become self-defeating in ways that are interfering with day-to-day living—causing stress on family members, friends and/or work. These guys have issues around sexualizing and objectifying women so they can tend to have more than just a passing awareness of the winter release of that swimsuit model issue.
Mardi Gras...here's the real thought provoking question; "Why is this kind of debauchery and indulgent behavior more acceptable than being gay?" After all, many of society's stalwart beliefs about homosexuality are reflected in the activities of Mardi Gras. Here's a Lent challenge—give up judgments! Can you do it?