Ladies: when you see a man that you’re attracted to, what do you do? Do you have a plan for how to deal with men that you’re attracted to? When you’re out and about, do you have a method for getting men to approach you? I coach women all the time and I’ve discovered that most women have no idea what to do about men that they’re attracted to. Whether you have a plan or not, allow me to share a few tips. Here’s what you don’t do:
Are you excited about the notion of hopping into bed with your new guy? Slowly undressing, eyes locked, savoring each others bodies...lust so intense that you both might explode? Or does the thought of it make you so nervous you want to puke? For many of you—especially if you're dating in your 40's, 50's, or beyond—it's been a while since you stood naked in front of a man.
Recently in the news, a woman speaks out for contraceptives and conservatives began to go stir crazy! Rush Limbaugh went way too far this time calling Sandra Fluke, a 30 year old law student and an advocate for female rights, a slut, whore and feminazi because she's spoke out on behalf of females everywhere for contraception.
If you’ve been following the news, you’ve heard of Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown law student who testified before Democratic members of the House of Representatives on why she believed free contraception is essential. She got a beat down of a lashing from Rush Limbaugh who called her a slut and compared her to a prostitute. Rush sent out a public apology after his rant caused him to lose several sponsors for his radio show. This story represents on a large scale the deep wound of shame that so many feel when they speak up. Shame is the feeling that “something is wrong with me.” Shame pops up in three main areas for women: in speaking up and using our voice, in feeling comfortable with our bodies and our sensuality and in the way we mother and raise our children.
Steering clear of "pot calling kettle black," I want to make sure that I simply make a candid observation. "Slinging derogatory comments at someone proves you’re more of an ass with each passing moment you open your mouth.” Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let’s talk about Mr. Rush Limbaugh and his use of the word slut, which he lobbed with vile ease at Sandra Fluke just a few days ago.
I can’t tell you how to live your life or what to think, but I can share with you what I have learned and what has helped me in my life. I am a sex therapist. I consider myself to be predominantly hetero-sexual, but I am open to whatever feeling possess me on any given day because I also believe that sexuality is fluid, in that in changes and that our sexuality lay on a continuum, with hetero-sexuality being on one extreme, and homo-sexuality being on the opposite extreme. Most people fall somewhere in between.
Gay Relationship Compatibility tends to be measured by one “super criteria;” that being “Am I attracted to you?” Unfortunately, the other criteria that ought to be used to consider the compatibility of a partner are, for many gay men, these other criteria take a distant second place to this one over-riding question. If I don’t feel that special feeling in my body when I look at and interact with you, then there is no reason to take it any farther.
Anger is the emotional energy within each of us that rises up when something needs to change. If you act on the need to create change, your anger can be channeled effectively. If it’s not redirected to something effective, your frustration will build, sometimes to hurricane force. Anger that is allowed to get out of control is as destructive as a hurricane, but anger that is expressed in healthy ways can “clear the air” just as a mild rainstorm does. If you express your anger clearly and cleanly, without too much drama, it will be like a cleansing rain, leaving you calm and relaxed. The problem will then be solved.
Starve yourself or spend hours in the gym? What’s a girl to do to have a healthy, sexy body? You can argue whether diet or exercise is more effective in your weight loss. Fact is that both matter. You need both. Just like you need all the ingredients to bake up a recipe. Leave something out and it's not going to taste right. To promote successful weight loss you also need all the pieces to mix together. Diet and exercise do not work alone.
Not only is Rush Limbaugh way wrong on his comments about Georgetown University student Sandra Fluke but there's an even bigger problem that affects relationships and marriages everywhere when someone with a large audience or platform like Rush makes derogatory comments about women like the ones he made recently.