Being in a relationship involves being committed to another person. It takes two people to give 100 percent of themselves to remain an alliance. In the beginning, if you are on a social media site like Facebook, it is only natural to want to post "In a Relationship" as your relationship status to show all of your 500 friends how happy you both are. But what happens when the relationship ends? What do you do then?
It's official. It's over. Actually it's been over for quite some time now. Then why are you still stuck with your ex? You may think you're doing your best to move on, but somehow you just can't shimmy away from him/her. Truth be told even if you aren't in physical contact you may be fooling yourself with lots of sneaky subtle behaviors that keep you connected and prevent you from meeting someone new!
Unhappy with your relationships? Here's the likely culprit, and how to fix it... you need to strengthen your personal boundaries. Strong personal boundaries give you the freedom to say yes to what you want and no to what you don’t want, despite the risk of displeasing others. What a concept, huh? (The irony is the more you try to please others, the less you succeed. Nobody likes a people pleaser.) You’ll automatically upgrade your relationships and improve your life overall.
Feel stuck? Overwhelmed? Read on. One of the most surprising things I’ve discovered as a coach is the power of doing less. A little goes a long way. Nothing will build your confidence and momentum like setting small, achievable goals that you will actually accomplish! Let the phrase “under-promise and over-deliver” be your guide. In other words, commit to less for the sake of accomplishing more.
Breaking up is harder to do when we are not sure if or when. But those, as it turns out, are not really the right questions. The question isn't if or when, the question is how does one know, how do we become sure? The surest way to avoid surety: We avoid being sure when we do the work our partners are supposed to be doing, hoping they'll do it. We avoid being sure when we pretend things are true in the relationship that aren't really true. In short, we avoid being sure, when we bargain. IF I do this, THEN he'
I meet many women who have no issue with setting up and adhering to boundaries in other areas of their life – yet compromise all over the place once in a relationship with a man. So today, we’re going to focus on Boundaries - lesson # 3 in this 5 part series celebrating Valentine’s week. Why do we need boundaries? For one reason, they act like a “fence” protecting our property. When you have healthy boundaries set up that you stick to, it actually gives you more freedom to make better choices in your romantic life.
Here’s the full question that arrived in my inbox: “I came from a background that doesn’t value the gifts that I have developed. How can I learn to value my spiritual, creative and emotional gifts enough to feel that they are worth being paid for? If I don’t value them and see them as marketable, who will?” Great question! Here’s what I say a thousand times to clients: how you vote on your value from one hour to the next is not reliable or even useful.
Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. ~ William Shakespeare First the science of appreciation: John M. Gottman, PhD, the country’s foremost relationship expert, found that what set apart marriages that succeeded (as opposed to the 67% of first marriages that ended in divorce) was a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. He found that even the smallest gestures of appreciation counted—a smile, a pat, a “thank you.” This magic ratio isn’t confined to marriage.
There’s nothing more attractive to what you desire, especially in realms of romance and love, than confidence. And nothing kills your sense of self worth faster than settling for what doesn’t make you happy. There’s a nasty little trend going around the love advice industry, telling women (and men) that they should lower their standards, that they’re kidding themselves to hold out for that special someone they admire, respect, and desire. Can you imagine?
"I am going to be in town for a couple of days and I would love to see you." the familiar voice said hopefully. Instantly I am flooded with emotions both good and bad. We had been broken up for a few months and I had been trying to evict him from my mind ever since. Unbidden, thoughts about him and how hot the sex was, how beautiful I felt when I was with him, how romantic it was to sip wine at sunset, had been running through my mind for weeks. My brief fling with him had been the most fun I'd had in years!