Eight years of on and off dating. Public scrutiny at every step that would be enough to drive anyone batty. The daunting prospect of negotiating both a public and personal life together. And yet Kate Middleton hung in there with her real life prince. Finally, while the couple is on vacay in Kenya, Prince William pops the question. One wonders, what were the inner workings of the relationship that made it all work out? Just how did the couple go from casual to committed?
I am so pooped! It has been a great week filled with many things accomplished and a lot of running around, so I am so happy a new week is about to start! Sometimes we have so much on our plate, though we check off quite a few things, there are more that linger. I also still have more to check off of my list from last week, some of them I have not felt like doing at all, and this constant state of overwhelm sometimes keeps us stagnant enough to trickle into our love life.
As an Imago therapist, this is one of my favorite subjects. What is the powerful initial attraction all about? Why can 50 potential partners cross your radar at gatherings, parties, or just going through daily life, and then that one special person shows up and you feel like you just took a strong drug? Why do you feel more alive perhaps than at any point in your life?
Are you looking to say "I Do"? I hope you're saying Yes to yourself first with all the glitz and glam life has to offer. There's nothing wrong if the word glamour is synonymous with your name. I think Sheila E. started it with her classic 1984 hit, The Glamorous Life.
We are the ones holding tight to our man’s hands, or flashing our wedding bands/engagement rings as we pass. Yes, everyone knows that we are involved and that someone loves us. That’s not even to question. We are in relationships with good men, and we are proud of them! We have so much for which to be thankful, yet we are becoming more and more lackadaisical—lazy! We are all too comfortable wearing his pajamas and t-shirts on Thursdays, laying on the couch all day on Fridays, going straight to sleep at night on Saturdays, and wearing our head scarf ALL day on Sundays.
Which one of these scenarios best describes your experience in relationships? 1. You always find yourself needing to please your partner. Constantly putting their needs ahead of yours, you find that at times you feel resentful wondering when all of your selfless action will be recognized and reciprocated. You wish your partner would be able to anticipate your needs as well as you anticipate theirs. Ultimately, all of this leads to you constantly twisting into a pretzel to receive love.
I was never a desperate woman, so let’s make certain that is clear! And while we are clearing the air, I also wasn’t unattractive, overweight, needy, or unintelligent. I had my own place, my own car, a very nice career, I took care of myself physically, dressed nicely, I was educated on many levels, had no children and to top it off—I grew up with my daddy in the house. I had no baggage. I was optimistic about the future and had no chip on my shoulder. I wasn’t even loud or obnoxious. In my opinion, I had it going on.
What is the most important relationship in your life? Would a list of your relationships include your relationship with YOU? It’s not uncommon for that relationship to be missing or at the bottom, especially for women. Having been programmed since birth to be a caretaker, do you ensure everyone else is taken care of while leaving you at the gate with little or no time/attention for your needs, let alone desires?
This guest article from Psych Central was written by Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP A recent study reported in the Journal of Consumer Psychology found that young couples are actually better than long-term partners at knowing each other’s preferences. In this study of 38 young couples aged 19 to 32 and 20 older couples aged 62 to 78; the older couples had far more difficulty correctly predicting their partners’ food preferences.