It seemed strange that one of the thoughts that flew through my head in the hour after learning I’d been widowed was the less than appealing, “Oh, my God, I am going to have to date again!”
This is the time of year when you see a lot of articles and blogs pop up about the challenges that stepfamilies face during the holiday season. Stepmoms often face extra stress as they fulfill holiday obligations that include entertaining, hosting visitors, shopping, figuring out hectic schedules, and determining holiday traditions. Even people who aren't experiencing life as a stepmother can be depressed, stressed, and overextended.
You can take the girl out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl. If you were to call me ghetto. I'd say thanks for the compliment! What does being "ghetto" have to do with dating or finding the love of your life. Because there's no better time than now to work on yourself as much as possible as a single woman. Grow yourself so you can grow as a person both personally and professionally.
PICK ME UP FOR A DATE Some of my clients ask me, "Some of the guys who ask me out want me to meet them half-way for Date 1. Should I do that?" I say, “Yes.” "What about Date 2, 3, 4…?" I SAY, "PIZZA IS DELIVERED TO YOU. I’M NOT.”
A Child's First Love Do you remember your first pet? How old were you? I was three or four years old when my favorite aunt invited me to peer into a box of squirming kittens. They were brand new, grey tabbies whose eyes were still shut tight. Their plaintive mews filled the air with a sense of sadness for me. How I longed to make them feel safe and loved. When my aunt told me I could take one of these little fur balls home, my heart leaped for joy.
Hollywood understands human nature. Why else would there be so many movies that portray the holidays being "enjoyed" by so many dysfunctional families? Perhaps the greatest enjoyment is ours as we laugh at and cringe at other families' dealing with their "stuff". What makes these movies strike a chord with us is our personal experience with our own quirky families of origin and years of pleasantness and not-so-pleasantness around the proverbial family table. Let's just say, we've had our highs and lows!
I can already hear you saying, "Of course I have to complain, my spouse never listens." If this is the case, you may have been asking to have your needs met in the wrong way. In fact, lots of times people think that they are requesting a change from their partners when they are doing nothing more than complaining. Although complaints result from frustration, it doesn't help us get any closer to our end goal. Instead, it turns people off and build resistances. What we want is to initiate a spirit of cooperation.
I wrote a relationship advice column for a few years and I loved it. Questions came in from people all over the world with all sorts of relationship issues. Should I stay or should I go? He’s perfect on paper but the chemistry’s not there—help! Is it possible that my girlfriend is a lesbian? Will I recognize my soul mate? Most of the people who wrote in for advice were residents of a place I refer to as Relationship Hell. As the name implies, it’s not exactly nirvana.
Women have the mistaken belief that by always putting a man's needs first, doing what he wants and taking care of him, he will fall in love with them. This actually has the opposite effect. You may be great in bed, hotter than Halle Berry, sweet, sexy and supportive, but he will still not want to make a commitment if you never say that word. That one word is "No."