Awww, suburbia! Garages, yards, good public schools, sidewalks you can walk on, and when it comes to some places—like my home town in North Jersey--seven major shopping malls in a twenty-five mile radius! Parents and grandparents asking young people when they are going to get married? All the time! A singles scene that inspires you to get out of your sweatpants? Not so much!
Most of us feel that it is great to have love in our lives. Not only does love make us feel good mentally, but some studies say we are more likely to live longer when we have love in our lives. It has been said that love is the most potent force in the entire world. Is there any energy that has the ability to influence our feelings as mightily as love does? Certainly its supremacy of power is what prompted the great philosopher Teilhard de Chardin to remark “ Someday after we master the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness the energies of love.
“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” ~Mohandas K. Gandhi “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time….” James Taylor’s voice crooned in my head. This is a chorus that I am thankful to hear over and over again. In fact the older I get, the more that this simple truth has meaning. There really is no where that we are getting to and no arriving at a destination that defines us.
“I believe that the world was created and approved by love that it subsists, coheres, and endures by love, and that, insofar as it is redeemable, it can be redeemed only by love.” -Wendell Berry Love saves us. Although this line of thinking is usually reserved for religious parables, the truth of life bears out that love is the singular source that enlightens, inspires and guides us to the very best of our selves.
“The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions.” -Thich Nhat Hanh The majority of relationships fail from our collective inability to make peace with each other. We watch our long-term investments of loving connection wither on the vine rather than take the courageous steps of seeking reconciliation. We are confounded by our egos into believing that being right makes us stronger than being loving.
Every once and a while I talk to someone who asks permission to end a friendship. They say something like, “Is it really okay that I stop calling?”, or “I can’t just ‘break-up’ with her…can I?” Here’s my view on relationships: Life is like a play—there are many scenes and a rotating cast of characters.
One of the best feelings in the world is when a child’s eyes light up in recognition and they run at you, throwing their little arms around you for a big hug and cuddle. I remember promising myself when I was about ten years old and dealing with my father’s death that I would never lose that innocence, and wonder and joy for life.
I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it. — Anne Lamott
Your toddler is fussy; they are a poor sleeper, picky eater and a testy two year-old. Your hope: this is just a phase… the terrible twos… something they will grow out of and you both will survive. Parents looking for help during this time are ultimately seeking to learn how to support their child in three ways: socially, emotionally and cognitively. By supporting their kids in these three ways they arm their child with secure attachment which helps them to navigate through their terrible twos and come out peacefully on the other side.