In the popular movie We Bought A Zoo, I loved when a teenage boy remembers the moment his father taught him that you only have to have courage and be brave for 20 seconds to make something great happen. This got me thinking about all the people who share with me that they "fear getting hurt again" as if that is a strong enough excuse not to do the work of getting prepared for love.
One question that comes up often in my practice as a couples therapist is the issue of "falling out of love." You’ve been in love with someone for 6-12 months, maybe longer, and you start to wonder whether this is going to last. Are you going to stay together, settle down, or is it time to move on? If the latter is on your mind, what happened? Sister Souls
According to the national Center for Health Statistics, the woman files two-thirds of divorce cases. A more amazing statistic is that when the couple are college-educated, divorces initiated by the wife is a whopping 90-percent! What's more interesting that for the past one-hundred years the primary filer has been the woman. The divorce rate began climbing at a drastic rate in the 70s.
We’ve heard a lot about hope recently, but one thing was not said. Hope is scary. Anyone who dares to hope runs the risk of disappointment and feelings of failure. With the overwhelming focus on success in our culture, the threat of failure and disappointment is blown out of proportion. In my counseling practice, I see a lot of people who are afraid to follow their dreams without a guarantee.
Ah, online dating. Some people love it. Some people hate it. I'm in the former category, and I always tell skeptics, if you meet the love of your life online, you won't care how the heck you met — you'll just be thrilled that you did!
Aidan decided to consult with me because he wanted to get married and have a family. A handsome man in his mid-30s, it was certainly not obvious at first glance why he could not find a partner. However, it didn't take me long to understand why relationships were not working for Aidan. Being with Aidan felt like being alone. He was so not present as to practically be invisible. "Aidan," I asked, "What are you feeling right now?"
Nearly everyone has the ability to view a relationship or situation from the perspective of another person, to imagine what that other is seeing, hearing, feeling, and thinking. In fact, we do this all the time – we are continually assessing others’ states of mind, their intentions, what they might say or do next. It’s a mostly unconscious process, a faculty we are born with and continue to develop as we grow.
There are strong opinions about couples living together before marriage — both pro and con. Many factors need to go into that decision and there’s not one right answer for everyone. The question of living together before marriage comes up at some point in a serious relationship. But if you’re thinking of moving in with a man you’re not engaged to in the hopes that he will come to the decision to marry you, you might want to proceed with caution.
If it hasn’t happened yet, it will soon. You’ve been dating for a few months. You like him and you like spending time with him but he isn’t the man of your dreams. You don’t want to cut him loose but you have no intention of getting too involved and aren’t sure you see a long term future with him. He is really into you and very attentive and loving. Sounds perfect, yes? Just one problem—he wants more, you want less.
Ancient tantric teachings have long specified that all women possess two poles, or hot spots. One is the northern external pole, the clitoris. The other is the less well-known internal southern pole, the G-spot. Throughout this century, however, there has been considerable controversy about whether or not the G-spot even exists. In the past, many self-important male doctors, and even some women, have denied its existence, and the debate over the focal point of female sexual arousal has stirred many scientific arguments.