Since hypnotherapy can change behavior that results in changes in one's physical world, I would like to suggest that if love is not flowing in your life, there could very well be something happening at the subconcious level that is blocking it. It's enlightening to realize that at some point along the way, usually in childhood, your subconscious mind, which is totally devoted to you, came to a conclusion. It decided that in order to help you, protect you, please you, serve you, make you feel comfortable (get the idea?), it needed to adopt a certain behavior or behaviors.
It is important and helpful to become aware of the agendas we have in our relationships. First, I will explore how this impacts the development of a new relationship and then I will show you how it applies to all relationships. Think about the early stages of dating or getting to know someone. In the beginning, she is checking him out (the genders are all interchangeable and apply across the board) to see if he meets her needs.... Does he want to get married? Does he want children? Does he have a good job? Does he have too much baggage?
Why is it that your boyfriend and your friends just don’t mix? Why do you get the distinct impression you have to give up your friends to please your boyfriend? I'm at the car dealership, waiting for my car to be serviced, and a woman nearby is finishing up a conversation on her cell. The guy sitting with her is shaking his head. She turns to him, "What?" "Why did you invite them to dinner?" the guy asks, "You know I don't like them." "I thought you did like them," the woman says, confused.
Money conflicts result in some of the most intense and destructive arguments in any relationship. Money is a topic very few people are comfortable talking about, and issues concerning spending and saving are deeply personal. The additional variable that's been silently added to the mix is the turning of the tides in many relationships for who is the primary breadwinner. Here are five tips for keeping a breadwinner relationship tension-free.
Each year, more than 1 million children experience the divorce of their parents. Divorce rates peaked in 1979-1981 at 5.3 per 1000 persons and decreased by 1995 to 4.4 per 1000 persons. Approximately 50% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages end in divorce (Cohen, American Academy of Pediatrics). Moreover, the American Psychological Association notes that children of stepfamilies face higher risks of emotional and behavioral problems.
Finding SELF after divorce can be tricky, especially if you don’t have SELF well defined. When I talk with my clients about self they often feel uneasy because to them SELF equals selfish. This is absolutely not true. SELF to me is your mind, body and spirit. All three of these need to be nourished after divorce, so the real you can fully emerge. And only then, do you have more to give to others.
For most of us, dating is fun. You get to go out, meet new people and enjoy learning new activities and trying new places. It makes us come out of our shells. We also learn a lot about ourselves such as what we like, what we don’t like, and how we handle conflict. Dating is important, and I usually suggest dating several people before committing to one. Dating after a long term relationship or marriage is not the same. Everything seems different when you go back on the market again looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. You’re a different person the second or third time around.
I watched a young couple having dinner, noting that the whole evening passed without them looking at anyone else in the room. She did a lot of "gender signaling”—she tossed back her head, and smiled and laughed a lot--acting as though she found her young man profoundly entertaining.
Lisa settles into the couch, rests her hand to her stomach, and smiles when she feels a tiny kick. Late afternoon sunlight filters across gleaming tables, and the neat array of family photos, and spotless ornaments. Minutes later she’s on her feet screaming abuse at Geoff. How could he come home like that, dump his coat onto the chair, grab a beer, and once again put his shoes up on the coffee table! “Calm down honey” he says “it’s my home too! Hire a cleaner, and stop fussing so much.”
I know this sounds crazy, but I believe it is best to prepare for divorce before you even get married. As a romantic, I hate this. As a divorce attorney, mediator and coach, I've seen the worst of the worst walk through my office door and cannot tell you how priceless this advice actually is. Being prepared for the unexpected may be one of the smartest decisions you'll ever make.