Despite all the opposition Miley and Liam are getting from the press, this engagement is a great call. Yes, it's true that they are very young. Yes, they are celebrities, and yes, the odds are seriously against this union. This is especially true if we were to listen to public opinion, a bevy of relationship experts, over-protective parents or the ridiculously inaccurate divorce rate statistics.
This week I spoke with my client, “Sue,” who recently entered the online dating world. Right off the bat she had scoped out a profile she really liked and emailed him. He seemed interested, attentive and pretty fabulous on paper. The next thing you know…she has a date!
One of the biggest problems facing couples is the unevenness of chores; who does what, and how much time do men and women each contribute to daily household chores? With the majority of couples, women do the majority of chores, and guys when they are asked to help out complain that they can never do it to their girlfriend or wife’s satisfaction. A recent study revealed that the potential for a divorce could be cited by talking to the couple about who does what chore and is it equal with the amount of time spent.
Your teen leaves his dirty clothes all over the house. Instead of getting into another fight with him or nagging him to pick them up, you do it for him. It’s easier, right? Your daughter with ADD is having problems completing her science project. She can’t seem to focus and complains that it’s boring and too difficult. After she goes to sleep, you finish it for her. After all, you don’t want her to fail.
None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional “til death do us part.” Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear friend, a child, a sibling, a parent or even a beloved pet, we are risking the loss of that love.
If you're the parent of a teenager, you know that over-the-top feeling of Parenting Fatigue. You're exhausted from always working to keep tight boundaries, teaching important life lessons, and guarding against all those dangers you hope your teen never has to experience but are afraid they will. You feel the endless requirements of parenting, wonder if this year your teenager will settle into high school, stand up to the bullies, and graciously accept household chores without argument, or if this is just a fantasy you need to let go of.
In comparison, the word "polyamory" was searched on Google 110,000 times worldwide. That's a whopping .030% looking for polygamous information online in one month. Are these stats an indicator of what kinds of relationships people are looking for? Or are they just numbers?
Here are a few guidelines to help you, your children and your new date be more comfortable around each other.
The bestselling book, "Getting the Love You Want” written by Harville Hendrix, teaches couples a powerful form of healing that Hendrix calls Imago Relationship Therapy. This theory says that we never choose our partner by accident. Our mate, for good or bad, helps us to heal from our childhood wounds, helps us to grow as a person and if we let them, becomes the one person ideally suited to propel us into adulthood.
There’s a lot of talk lately about celebrities getting married too young. The prediction is that these marriages will fail. Are the odds any different as we age? Is age the problem or is divorce the end result of something else- relationship malnutrition? We all need different types of nourishment from a variety of relationships. Yet more and more, I see people looking to their primary partner to provide all of their nourishment. Is this too much to expect from one person?