What if you had a source of information that offered guidance and a commentary on whether you are on the right track - professionally or personally? Would you be interested? I challenge you to deny skepticism for a brief moment and consider the possibility that within your dreams is an untapped, hidden source of self-knowledge. Dreams tell us what we need to know but don't in our waking lives. (Robert Johnson)
When I was a single woman, one of my biggest obstacles to finding a husband was my habit of "wishful hoping." I am long past that now, but as a coach I find "wishful hoping" is probably one the key factors that make finding your true love take so long. "Wishful hoping" is very similar to being in a state of longing. You may understand it better if I share with you this definition of longing by Gay Hendricks:
There was a lot of talk several years ago that a single woman over 40 years of age had a better chance of being blown up in a terrorist attack than finding a healthy marriage partner. Times have changed, and 40 year-old women no longer look 40 and terrorist attacks are more frequent. The saying has lost its “punch” and you seldom hear this phrase anymore. I have gone to more weddings where the bride and groom are both over 40 years of age, and/or one of them is over 40 and the other is 39 and holding.
We’ve all been there. At some point - usually over the weekend - you bargain with yourself about all the food temptations that are before you. Before you know it, you’re mentally shrugging your shoulders and convincing yourself that you’ll start behaving on Monday. And you eat your way through the weekend.
Touch is so significant in our lives the lack of it can cause us to become ill or otherwise disordered. According to Sarah Trenholm, a communication professor at Ithaca College, “People deprived of touch may develop physical, mental, and social disorders. In fact, studies have linked touch deprivation to depression, alienation, and violence.” In talking about his recent book, Intimate Behavior: A Long Look At What Society Has Done to Our Need for Physical Contact with Other Members of the Same Species, anthropologist Desmond Morris chalks it up to our prenatal experience.
Did you know, that: 1. When you are engaged in relationship, the truth of your relationship is reflected in your interactions, whether you are conscious of it or not. 2. No matter what words you use and how you choose to communicate consciously, there is an underlying energetic current that gives your words their true meaning. 3. This under current can either nurture or destroy your relationship.
Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.
I had lunch a few weeks ago with a dear friend of mine, a multi-talented man of about 60 who has had life experiences that would have half of us green with envy and the other half wondering how he made it through alive. He had been having a mad, wild, wonderful love affair with a friend of mine for about 6 months, that recently ended. Their age difference of about 20 years was too much for her, and even though they were both having the time of their lives, she decided not to continue it.
Imagine that you are a hologram made of the fragments of your past, fantasies about future and collective perceptions you learned from people in your life. When a wrong word is said or something else reminds you about your past disappointments or betrayal, you lose yourself in this memory and unconsciously leave the present moment.
As we wait and watch our country do battle over the debt limit, this might be a good time to think about your financial health. As I watch single women trot out onto the social scene with hopes of snaring a good man, I often see them pay more attention to their hair than to what it cost to get that cut/color/highlight.