Here's a scene from Seinfeld, the '90s' hilarious take on everyday minutae: Jerry: "You faked it?" Elaine: "I faked it." Jerry: "That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?" Elaine: "Not bad, huh?" Jerry: "What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?" Elaine: "Fake, fake, fake, fake."
You are giving people the silent treatment when you shut down to them, closing your heart and refusing to interact with them or acknowledge their presence. You act as if they are invisible, not responding to them at all or giving them a very minimal and withheld response. Your hope in treating them this way is that they will get the message that they have displeased you. They have done something wrong in your eyes and deserve to be punished, deserve to have your "love" taken away.
are wired to talk about it. For men, acting on a strong emotion often has consequences. The potential for violence is always present, so they have a shut off valve to prevent them from experiencing emotions as deeply as women feel them. This shut off valve prevents things like domestic violence and breaking household items. It also makes women think that men have the emotional range of a teaspoon, but I think if women understood how men process emotions, they'd be more sympathetic.
I just wanted to share the exciting news. On August 20th, 2011 my book The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery won best ebook in the non-fiction/relationship category. To learn more about the Global Ebook Awards, please visit http://awardsforeebooks.com/
You know the time has come. He just isn't the one for you and you know you're going to break his heart. He's been swooning over you for months and as much as you like hanging out with him, in the end, he simply doesn't rock your boat. The excitement you felt when you first starting going out left some time ago. He's been pressuring you for more time and more commitment but you simply resist. It's gotten to the point when you start to avoid his phone calls and are easily annoyed with his anxious requests.
What a difference a few years makes. "New Cures for Depression" shouted the 1986 essay in New Woman magazine; "Dramatic Progress against Depression," blared a New York Times Magazine piece in 1990. Its subtitle was revealing: "The success of new drugs is prompting debate on their overuse—and the value of talk therapy." That story smugly said that the new wave of antidepressants, including the then two-year old Prozac, which took the country by storm, had "proved to be as effective as the older ones and often safer." What's more, the article went on to say that these amazing new drugs worked when old-fashioned talk therapy didn't. Psychotherapy was relegated to the dustbin of history.
Romantic love is filled with ups and downs. Almost everyone has had an experience of heartache whether a person has been married fifty years to his high school sweetheart or has been single into her forties. If you were like me, you probably had more of your fair share of love disappointments. I learned through the years that heartache is a choice, not something that happens to us, and there is a way to live heartbreak free.
When is it ok to go outside your comfort zone to accommodate the man you love? I have been married for 5 years. My husband, who I am closer to than any other man in my 58 years of living, has a personal family issue that is challenging him deeply. As a Snow White I am stretched to the max by the drama. It is not easy for me to be involved in this situation, but because I love my man, I am acting in that love.
It might be one of the hardest and most important questions of a lifetime. When is it time to call it quits on a relationship? I get asked that question regularly and most of the time, by the time that question is on the table, a break up is imminent. However, with break ups and in life, timing is everything and getting that timing right is the difference between feeling good about what you did or lamenting the “could have beens” for years to come.
“Love and work are the cornerstones of our human-ness…” -Sigmund Freud Learning how to stay and grow inside your relationship is an art form, a meditation practice and a work ethic all rolled into one. The nice thing about the work is that it is constructed of basic skill sets you can develop and strengthen just by attending to them and practicing. No one is born a great communicator or even a skilled listener.