I see a great many couples in my private practice. Lately, there seems to be a theme: couples who have been together or married for many years, who have "grown apart." This feeling is usually expressed by one partner, while the other is caught somewhat off-guard, not realizing things have gotten as bad as they are until the unhappy partner suggests a separation, divorce, or counseling. The expression of incredulity on my clients' faces shows that they really don't understand how their partner could be ready to walk out. The unhappy partner, on the other hand, doesn't understand why their mate is so slow to realize how unhappy they have been. How does this happen? How is it that each partner's experience of the relationship is so different?
Three weeks into dating my current husband, Noah, he looked at me and said, "Christine, I don't know what is going to happen between the two of us? but you have to raise your standards for men." "You can't like a guy because he's nice to you. He's supposed to be nice to you."
Why is it harder for women to orgasm than men? The punchline is, who cares? And yes, it's a joke, a guy joke that actually makes me laugh because it's really about how loutish some men are. Also, it's funny because it's true. The Psych Central news hounds pointed me towards an article entitled "Women, Men, and the Bedroom: Methodological and Conceptual Insights That Narrow, Reframe, and Eliminate Gender Differences in Sexuality." I wanted to learn more, so I dug up the original paper, which pulled together a number of studies debunking some of the things we know to be true about men, women, and sex.
If you're not in a semi-happy marriage yourself, chances are you've seen one or know one intimately because the term describes a large number of marriages today. Semi-happy couples should be happy—on paper. If only they could live their marriages on paper instead of in real life! The semi-happy marriage is not bad enough to leave, but not good enough to fulfill. I conducted a survey for my book, Marriage Confidential, and found that 30 percent agreed that "most marriages I see around me aren't really happy or unhappy." 40 percent agreed, "most marriages that I see aren't really that happy."
Great sex alone can't sustain a loving relationship but it sure as hell can keep you circling back to a toxic relationship time and again. Intermittent fantasies about how wonderful he is deep down inside after a passionate night accidentally shared out of the blue, waking up next to her and remembering how much you love and miss the smell of her hair. "God! There's not a woman on the planet I can love like this." The problem is there's not a woman on the planet you can loathe like this either.
Although couples with children have a slightly lower divorce rate than childless couples, 40% of married households with children still end in divorce. Divorce is a major life change and is considered the second most stressful life event second only to the death of a spouse. For all family members, it is a difficult time. Working through custody, property, and financial matters can, unfortunately, bring out the worst in people.
By Marianne Beach, GalTime.com In romance novels, soap operas, and Cosmo magazine, women are usually portrayed as having an insatiable appetite for sex--easily matching or even exceeding their partner's desire to get it on. And why not? Ever since the sixties' sexual revolution, we've been taught to believe that a woman's sex drive should be equal to a man's...and sex should be something you want to have any chance you get. Okay, who's rolling their eyes right about now?
Recently I was pondering the various new age and metaphysical groups, practices, and in particular the various leaders and the styles of leadership they provide. While there are many fine teachers and healers in this broad category we call new age, there are some I’ve seen or been around that trigger an uneasy feeling in my gut.
Did you know that men, not women, are more likely to be happy in a relationship if they are in good health, if they are often cuddling and kissing with their partner, and if their partner tends to have orgasms during sex? Cuddling, it turns out, may be even more important than sexual satisfaction for long term relationships. Women who remain in long term relationships are more likely to be satisfied with the sexual component and that satisfaction seems to improve over time. But for women, frequent cuddling and kissing does not necessarily lead to relationship satisfaction. Women often require romance as well as a sense of being heard, understood and appreciated.
There is an ongoing research study focused on dads. The study is an attempt to build stronger families by focusing on the father's role in the first year of the baby's life. We know dads are important to a child's self esteem, overall health, and their success at developing healthy relationship later in life.