The discovery of infidelity is nothing short of gut-wrenching. When betrayal shatters your relationship (and your sense of self), can the fragments every be pieced back together in a way that can make your relationship feel whole again? YourTango Expert Dr. Jim Walkup shares a raw account of the devastation of adultery and the trauma it causes, while also pointing couples toward the path of healing and new new beginnings. Will your marriage survive?
One of the best ways to find and be found by your perfect partner is to be the perfect partner. If you are a person who is ready to date and prepared for the commitment and flexibility a serious romantic relationship requires, you will be much more likely to encounter and embrace the perfect partner when they come along. Should You be Dating?
Do you find that you keep having the same painful experiences when it comes to love? Perhaps you often tell yourself things like, “I’m never lucky in love,” or “Men lose interest in me once they get to know me.” If so, you may be experiencing a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, one that is revealed as your most secret beliefs about yourself affect how you’re experiencing reality. This happened with a woman friend of mine named Lori.
Has online dating gone to the dogs? "Partner with pets" is the big trend in online dating these days. Find out why so many daters refuse to settle down with anyone who doesn't love their pooch as much as they do. Is this a smart screening process or just down right foolish? Is your boyfriend obsessed with his pet?
Discuss money only when you are both rested and focused enough to stay out of the usual quagmires of attacking and blaming. Don’t begin a discussion after you both are exhausted from the stress of the day. Agree to take a break when things get tense. Five minute reciprocal backrubs or times to check your emails can give you both times to regroup and let go of anxiety or hurt that might be building.
The two most deadly things you can do when going through the upheaval of a life transition are to isolate and to deny your true feelings. During our ordeal there were many things that my daughter did brilliantly. I’m proud to say that among them were her efforts to seek support and unbridled self permission to express her feelings.
Libido—the vital impulse or energy motivating human behavior. The sexual urge or lust. Wilhelm Reich, the second most important psychiatrist in history, (Carl Jung is undoubtedly the greatest; guess number three!) emphasized the critical nature of orgasm in health. He believed it was an essential balancer of life energy. Freud (my concept of number three) seemed more neurotic about sex than his patients. In the past four decades sexuality has come out of the closet, and, yet, there seem to be at least as many sexual hang-ups as ever.
"Love is not a contract between two narcissists. It's more than that. It's a construction that compels the participants to go beyond narcissism. In order that love lasts one has to reinvent oneself.” –French Philosopher Alain Badiou Resentment and anger in relationships often stem from utter dismay at how your spouse could have possibly done what they did. You just can't understand it – you never would have done such a thing. Here are a few scenarios as examples:
Solo sex is safe, fun and good for you? What? Absolutely, read on: Scientists are putting women in CAT scan machines and then allowing them to stimulate themselves to orgasm. (Where can I volunteer for that!) What they are finding is astounding. The entire woman's brain lights up during the Big O. Blood flows through the body and brings floods of oxygen and fabulous brain chemistry to play.
A little girl was mean to my toddler on the playground. I am not proud of what happened next, but let's just say I crossed a line. I was a real a**hole to a 6-year-old girl.